XYBM Clips: Black Therapist Explains Why Men Stop Opening Up in Relationships
Express Yourself Black Man
Kizzle
5.0 • 556 Ratings
🗓️ 20 May 2026
⏱️ 11 minutes
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Summary
In XYBM 156, we sit down with Rwenshaun Miller, a therapist who has lived on both sides of the therapy couch. He breaks down the real face of bipolar disorder — far beyond the mood-swing myths — through the lens of his own diagnosis at 19, three su-c-de attempts spanning seven years, and a battle with alcohol that nearly cost him everything, all while graduating from UNC on an academic scholarship and walking onto a Division I football and track team.
This is a must-watch for anyone who has ever looked “high-functioning” on the outside while quietly struggling on the inside.
For the athletes, the overachievers, the men battling in silence, and the people trying to support someone they love through mental health challenges… this conversation is going to hit different.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | They don't like the situation that they're in as far as marriage because of the fact of they have to live up to that notion, happy wife, happy life. |
| 0:08.5 | Mm. |
| 0:10.2 | Now, why wouldn't men like that? |
| 0:14.8 | Because it eliminates their own humanity. |
| 0:18.6 | Mm. |
| 0:19.8 | And even in a relationship where, you know, your partners, Because it eliminates their own humanity. |
| 0:26.3 | And even in a relationship where, you know, your partners and, you know, these things. |
| 0:32.3 | And let's remove all aspects of gender roles and all of those things, right? |
| 0:34.6 | They don't have a voice. |
| 0:40.0 | They can't even vocalize how they feel about certain things or when some things happen. |
| 0:40.4 | Right. |
| 0:46.2 | Because of the fact that it makes their significant other upset. |
| 0:47.2 | Yeah. |
| 0:48.8 | Or they get defensive about it. |
| 0:49.3 | Yeah. |
| 0:55.3 | And so instead of them, you know, really standing in their truth, |
| 0:58.0 | they'd be like, all right, man, you got it. |
| 1:00.7 | I'll just, I'll just shut up. |
| 1:01.2 | Yep. |
| 1:02.7 | Now we internalize it. We suppress it. |
| 1:03.5 | And that suppression leads to resentment long term. |
| 1:07.3 | And then, but then long term, we'd be like, oh, I don't been in this marriage for so long, and I might as well just say. Just an effort. Yeah. Just deal with it. Let's deal with it. And they're like, this is life. Right. And you know that part, that piece that you just said, that's sunk cause fallacy. You know what sunk cause fallacy is, right? So for folks that don't know what sunk cause fallacy is, it's basically the idea that because you spend so much time and effort in doing something, you need to get a reward out of it. So you stick with it, even when it doesn't make sense to stick with it. The way I always think about it, the example I always use is like, if you've been waiting in a line for four hours, but you no longer want the thing and you actually have to go do something else with your time, but you're like, nah, man, I've been in a line. I've been in a line for. I've been in a long for. I've got to get this thing that I've been in the line for. Yep. But you've got other stuff that you need to be doing. You got an appointment that you're missing, all this. |
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