Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm your good time, winter time guest Bayliffe, Monty Belmonti from W.R.S.I. 939 the River

in North Hampton, Massachusetts, in for Jesse Thorn.

This week, Rex Libris, Gina, file suit against her husband Craig.

She insists that Craig mishandles and abuses books, for instance, a curious incident of

dog earring the pages in the nighttime.

Using them as a doorstop to create a room with a view and to kill mocking birds.

She claims that Craig should Jane air on the side of caution.

Craig says that insults his pride and she's prejudiced.

He eats, prays, loves books, and will love them forever, he'll like them for always,

and his long asses living, a bookworm he'll be.

Who's right?

Who's wrong?

Anyone man can decide, please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and issues

the obscure cultural reference.

I am not sure that I exist, actually.

I am all the writers that I have read, all the people I have met, all the women that I

have loved, all the cities I have visited, and all the monsters I have judged.

One time, winter time, guest bailiff slash punsmith, can't literary humorist.

Monty bell, Monty will you swear in the litigants.

Gina and Craig, please rise and raise your right hands.

Place it on this six volume side first edition of Warren Peace.

...