Why Your Wife Doesn’t Feel Loved (Even When You’re Trying)
Dad Tired
Jerrad Lopes
5 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 12 January 2026
⏱️ 42 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Most men want to love their wives and kids well—but still feel stuck, disconnected, or misunderstood.
In this episode of the Dad Tired Podcast, Jerrad sits down with Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, to talk about the deeper issue beneath most marriage and parenting struggles:
👉 We’re often loving sincerely—but in the wrong language.
Together, they explore:
- Why effort doesn’t always translate to emotional connection
- The difference between loving sacrificially and loving manipulatively
- How unresolved childhood wounds affect how men give and withhold love
- Why empathy feels threatening to many men—and how to build it
- How dads can discover and speak each child’s unique love language
- What quality time really looks like in a distracted world
- The love language that actually matters most (and it’s not yours)
This conversation is honest, practical, gospel-centered, and deeply encouraging for husbands and fathers who want a growing marriage, not a perfect one.
🎧 Listen, take notes, and ask yourself:
Do the people closest to me actually feel loved?
Today's Sponsor: Cozy Earth (use promo code DADTIRED for an exclusive discount)
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, Dr. Chapman, it is so good to be back here with you. |
| 0:03.0 | We were just saying right before we hit record, you were on several years ago, |
| 0:07.0 | and every time I've had a chance to sit down and talk with you, |
| 0:10.0 | I always leave feeling like I love Jesus better, |
| 0:13.0 | and I have a little bit better understanding of just how to love my wife well |
| 0:18.0 | and the people around me well, so I'm really grateful for the work you're doing. |
| 0:21.3 | If somebody has lived under a rock for the last 30 years and has never heard of you, |
| 0:25.6 | maybe give us an idea of who you are and what you're up to these days. |
| 0:29.6 | Well, I have been doing marriage and family counseling in the church context for over 40 years. |
| 0:41.0 | I worked on the same church staff for 50 years. |
| 0:46.8 | And four years ago, I told the pastor, I think after 50 years, I probably should get off the payroll. |
| 0:53.0 | He said, well, Gary, you're not going to leave us. I said, I'm going to be in town. I'm not going anywhere. I'll do whatever. He said, well, |
| 0:55.8 | why don't you just keep your office and keep your assistant and do what you want to do? I said, |
| 1:00.8 | ooh, I like that. So I'm still seeing people, primarily marriages, and trying to help people |
| 1:07.5 | have the kind of marriage we always wanted to have, loving, supportive, caring, understanding, relationship. |
| 1:14.1 | So that's what I'm doing. |
| 1:15.4 | And out of that, all of my books have come out of my counseling. |
| 1:19.1 | Actually, they're just an overflow of my counseling. |
| 1:22.1 | And so it's been very, very encouraging. |
| 1:24.1 | And, of course, the love language is, the five love language, |
| 1:26.3 | which is my most popular book. |
| 1:28.9 | It has sold over 20 million copies and been published in over 50 languages around the world, |
... |
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