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Negotiate Anything

Why You Want to Hear Them Say No [Minisode]

Negotiate Anything

American Negotiation Institute

Education, Business, Self-improvement

4.7748 Ratings

🗓️ 9 May 2018

⏱️ 5 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Episode: How to Negotiate Like an FBI Agent with Chris Voss, Author of Never Split the Difference Keywords: negotiation, negotiate, persuasion, influence, leadership, psychology, sales, compassionate curiosity, mindful, mindfulness, emotions, self awareness, emotional intelligence, career, interviews, informational interviews, job search, job readiness, networking, discounts, conflict, difficult people, psychology, emotion, emotions, argue, argument, debate, negotiation, negotiate, influence, persuasion, leadership, parenting, psychology, sociology, social dynamics, entrepreneurship, small business, salary, sales, law, lawyer, law school, mba, human resources, HR, talent management, talent development, nonprofit management, supply chain, procurement, sales, buyers, buying, procure, business negotiation, Chris Voss, Never split the difference, getting to yes, collaboration, negotiation genius, art of the deal

Transcript

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0:00.0

And you know, this is similar to the thing that you said when you were talking about not to be afraid of no.

0:05.9

Because typically in a negotiation, you want to get yes, yes, yes, get there quickly and efficiently without much problem.

0:12.5

But you uncovered the fact that getting to a no can tell you a lot more than a yes.

0:20.7

Yeah, and no is protection and yes is commitment.

0:23.7

And we think that yes is success.

0:25.5

And my setup question is if yes is success and what is no?

0:30.0

And people always say, well, no is failure.

0:32.1

And I'll say, no, that was a trick question.

0:34.1

Who says yes is success?

0:36.7

Yes isn't success. Yes is a trap that we lure other people into.

0:41.7

You know, there are three kinds of yes. There's confirmation commitment and there's counterfeit.

0:45.6

And people try to lead us into commitment yes with confirmation yes so much that everyone is an

0:52.0

expert at giving the counterfeit yes. So if you think yes is success,

0:56.0

you've just taken a counterfeit $100 bill and you can't spend that anywhere. Right. And can you

1:02.4

tell the audience a little bit more about how dangerous it could be to accept a counterfeit yes,

1:08.8

thinking that it's a confirmation yes or a commitment yes?

1:11.5

Well, you know, because people fish for yes so much, many business people are used to

1:16.4

basically saying, you know, aha, go on, you know, my question is often, have you ever taken a yes

1:21.4

to find out later that it was a no? I mean, yes is a great device to fish. If you are trying

1:26.7

to get me to say yes, I actually want to suck as much information out

1:30.4

of you as possible.

1:31.7

I want to know where you're coming from.

...

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