We think that our experiences are encoded in our memories as kind of video recorders.

They're just like, this is the reality, this is the quote truth.

And so our details are always correct.

But that is rarely ever the case.

So instead, our memories are constantly changing.

What if everything you've built your life around, the work ethic, the achievement, the relentless drive, was actually a trauma response that you've never dealt with?

Pain might be unavoidable. Job losses happen, loved ones pass away unexpectedly. So the pain is unavoidable. Job losses happen. Loved ones pass away unexpectedly. So the pain is unavoidable,

but the suffering is not. Meet Dr. Suzanne Song, psychiatrist, author, and someone who works

with hostage survivors, Fortune 500 CEOs, and says they're dealing with the exact same thing.

My father was assaulted and kidnapped in an attempted robbery.

He later died.

So I continued doing everything.

I still did my piano lessons.

I did start working a couple of jobs.

But it wasn't until two decades later that I now find myself in Burundi, where I had

essentially recreated a similar scene of violence, hoping that this time around that I would be the

one who could save a life, which would be my own, because I couldn't save my father. So when people

kept saying I was resilient, what they actually were saying or what I was actually

doing was performing stability.

Dr. Suzanne Song is the author of Why We Suffer and How We Heal.

And in this book, she shows you that the life you've been building might be the very thing

standing between you and the life you actually want.

...