Why it is that so many people have the experience of showing interest, and then when they

show interest, all of a sudden, that person starts to lose interest.

What is that?

Because this is a claim I think a lot of people make when they say, this always happens.

I show interest and they disappear. That would be to suggest that it, that showing interest

itself is inherently unattractive. Right. And it would be hard to argue the truth of that

statement. I think we should almost break this down into what are the causes of someone losing interest once we show our interest?

What categories could that phenomenon fall into?

I'd like to start, and I'm wondering what you think of this, Steve, with a simple idea that some people are not looking for what you're looking for or are unhealthy emotionally.

Yes.

So those are two separate things.

They're not necessarily the same thing.

But let's just start with those two things. What are your thoughts on those two, Steve?

Yes, I agree. So the first one may be that once you show a level of interest that freaks them out, they realize, oh, I don't want to commit to this person this much.

I was attracted to them. I was having fun with them. I was enjoying dating.

But they're really into me. And they might be like, I'm backing off now because I've gotten in too

deep or I don't want to go where this person's taking me.

I think that is a real phenomenon that happens to people.

That's exactly right.

So you can't, you know, that, that you can't put, you can't make that a personal issue.

You just have to say some people are not ready for a real relationship, and that's why they're backing off when they realize that I am ready for a real relationship. And we have to start seeing that as a positive, not a negative.

That if I learn that someone doesn't want a real relationship and that makes them go away,

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