Are you the difficult one in the relationship, or let me rephrase that, does someone call you the difficult one in the relationship, and they'd prefer you show up in a different way?

If you can relate to this, maybe the healed being program is for you. The content I teach in that program is like nothing you'll find anywhere else.

I tell you the how and why of specific hurtful behaviors to help you not only change them, but also heal inside yourself so that you don't walk around in a consistently triggered state,

just waiting for the other person to do something you don't or can't agree with. If you resonate with any of this, head over to healedbeing.com and sign up for the first four lessons for free. You're going to learn a lot.

Life presents the toughest challenges. Every day you are faced with decisions that test your ability to express who you really want to be in this world.

We're told to keep saying affirmations and keep thinking positively, but what do you do when that stuff doesn't work?

Welcome to the overwhelmed brain, where you'll learn to make decisions that are right for you so that you can create the life you want now.

Hello and welcome to the show. My name is Paul Coliani and I want to help you learn the skills you need to deal with life's challenges in the most emotionally intelligent way.

This show consists of my personal opinions and is meant for informational purposes only. Only seek a professional for your mental health and well-being.

How do you deal with relationship issues in an emotionally intelligent way? What is the process? There's no actual defined process. You just have to deal with one situation at a time.

In fact, well, not all the time, but in most cases, this is what I see. The people that write to me about their romantic relationships or even family relationships sometimes, they'll say this person is always doing this or they always say this or they give me the silent treatment.

They treat me like crap. They say these things all the time. And if you've heard me talk about this before, those are called generalizations where you may know this already, but these are generalizations that we don't necessarily want to rely on.

We don't want to say they always do it. I mean, it might be true. The generalization they use is always, but it could be the majority of the time.

It could be half the time. It could be a few times. And because it's so memorable, it feels like all the time we've all been there like you're always so angry. Why are you always so angry?

Or you're always calling me lazy and this is not true. I sat on the couch that one day and ever since then, you think I'm lazy.

So we generalize. And when we generalize, we tend to, this is where I'm going with this. We tend to miss out on the opportunity to address the actual problem.

So if, let's just say, I'll use the couch example. You saw me sit on the couch once and ever since then, you think I'm lazy. You call me lazy. You bring that up. Oh, yeah. Well, you sit on the couch. No, I don't. Maybe every now and then maybe when I'm tired.

Doesn't mean I'm lazy. Or maybe I want to be lazy. Maybe that day I wanted to be lazy. I'm allowed.

I'm giving you some personal boundary responses here. I'm allowed to be lazy. You are. If that's the issue, you're allowed.

Because you're, I'm assuming an adult or at least getting there, you're grown up now. You can make your own decisions.

And you want to be lazy one day, you can. Do you want to take some time to yourself one day? You can. You're allowed to. You're allowed to make that decision.

Now, should you do it when there are other priorities? Yes, you can. I'm not saying you can't because you are at the point where you can make your own decisions.

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