Why He Picked Her - Not You with Patti Stanger
Daddy Issues with Violet Benson
Violet Benson
4.7 • 4.2K Ratings
🗓️ 9 April 2026
⏱️ 73 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Read it and weep, besties, because Patti is not here to sugarcoat a single thing. Stop wasting your time on a boy who only wants you around to boost his ego, fill his schedule, and keep you on standby while he figures himself out. Boys will breadcrumb you, mind game you, and keep you confused. Men make it clear. And we are done accepting less.
Today, Patti Stanger returns to the show to talk about how to stop being a placeholder, raise your standards, and actually recognize the difference between a man and a boy. Patti and Violet get into why women give too much too soon, how bad relationship patterns start in childhood, why men know much earlier than they admit, and how to tell when you’re being strung along. They also break down love bombing, gaslighting, red flags, ultimatums, dating with self-respect, and why waiting around is the fastest way to waste your own life.
If you’ve ever questioned someone’s intentions, stayed too long, or confused chemistry with commitment, this one is your wake-up call.
What to Listen For:
07:40 Why do we pick who we pick?
09:20 If you give a man too much of anything
13:43 Dating a boy versus a man
17:53 You want to know what their intentions are
22:37 If you allow yourself to be used
25:25 Is giving an ultimatum a good idea?
29:00 You get the ring when you have self respect
32:08 Why do we give our hearts too quickly?
35:59 Be realistic with your standards
43:06 Love bombers are mostly narcissists
47:48. Red flags vs green flags
52:19 The effects bad relationships have on kids
57:03 How do you handle the highs and lows?
59:30 Why are you wasting time?
01:07 Being able to do other things
01:08 Do I have to calm down my intensity to not scare off men?
01:11:30 What’s the best advice you’ve received?
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | They're two different types of men. |
| 0:01.2 | They've all got dicks, but one is a man. |
| 0:03.9 | He knows the difference between asking you out, checking in to see you got home safe. |
| 0:08.9 | That's the man. |
| 0:09.7 | The boy like, hey, I'm the deal. |
| 0:11.8 | I'm the girl in the relationship. |
| 0:13.3 | That's the boy. |
| 0:14.4 | They're children. |
| 0:14.8 | It's Vila Benson, your favorite meme queen and the big sit you didn't ask for, but see them. |
| 0:20.4 | Welcome to Daddy Issues. |
| 0:23.0 | Daddy Issues. |
| 0:25.2 | Daddy Issues. Daddy Issues. |
| 0:27.3 | Are you ready? |
| 0:28.7 | Hi, Vest Seas. |
| 0:29.8 | And welcome to a brand new Daddy Issues. |
| 0:31.8 | This is me, your host, Bila Benson. |
| 0:33.2 | So today, my special guest is Patty Sanger. |
| 0:35.9 | She's an American businesswoman, mostly known for starting and producing her own reality TV series. |
| 0:40.7 | The Millionaire's Matchmaker and Bravo TV was on for eight successful seasons. |
| 0:45.9 | She's also the writer of Become Your Own Matchmaker Book, the founder and CEO of Millionaire's Club, 123.com, |
| 0:52.7 | a professional service for high-end matchmaking. And she's currently |
| 0:56.2 | working on a show about her life with co-creator Queen's Gambit. And last but not least, she also has |
... |
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