Why Friendships Change: Values, Growth, and Distance w/ Jule Kim | Ep 405
The Futur with Chris Do
The Futur
4.9 • 998 Ratings
🗓️ 13 December 2025
⏱️ 101 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | We've been friends for, I don't know, 40-ish years now. I remember in the first six months, |
| 0:07.6 | I was pretty uncomfortable. I was super excited. I got to talk to you. I got to do the Clubhouse |
| 0:12.6 | Mod Squad with you and Lola and Martha. But there was a part of me that was seeking validation. |
| 0:19.0 | And in the back of my mind, when I finally like pull that thread |
| 0:22.6 | out from my subconscious, it was because maybe I'm smart because this person who I deem smart |
| 0:29.4 | will think I'm smart, right? So therefore, I must protect that at all costs. But my whole |
| 0:35.5 | method or MO in life has been, as soon as I find something that I'm |
| 0:40.1 | uncomfortable with, I rush straight for it. So I'm the person where if I F up, I'll tell you I |
| 0:45.8 | Fed up because having the weight of that hanging over my head will be far worse. It's like I won't |
| 0:50.6 | be able to sleep. I'll just be miserable. So I'm just going to tell you straight out. |
| 1:05.8 | And every time I've had these moments of thinking, God, Chris is going to think I'm dumb or I'm so lazy or whatever it is, I always reached this point of acceptance because I'm like, I can't control what Chris thinks. |
| 1:15.9 | And if he chooses to think that about me, then there's nothing I can do because I'm going to be me and I cannot pretend to be otherwise. So if that's what happens, then that's what happens. |
| 1:21.8 | Well, on that note, Joel, I think we're very much on topic to explore the idea of friendship, |
| 1:26.7 | what it means to be friends, or there are different tiers of friendship and how somebody might move closer or further away from your inner circle of friends. |
| 1:31.0 | Stick around. |
| 1:34.2 | We have different definitions of friends. |
| 1:37.0 | All right. |
| 1:37.9 | Well, what's your definition? |
| 1:39.5 | You go first. |
| 1:40.9 | To be honest, I haven't been really thinking about this. |
| 1:43.2 | But I was telling somebody recently, |
| 1:46.0 | I think I have four categories and I move people in and out of one category to the next. |
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