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The Futur with Chris Do

Why Friendships Change: Values, Growth, and Distance w/ Jule Kim | Ep 405

The Futur with Chris Do

The Futur

Arts, Education, Marketing, Design, Business, Self-improvement

4.9998 Ratings

🗓️ 13 December 2025

⏱️ 101 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Chris Do and Jule Kim dive deep into the meaning of true friendship and the different tiers that define closeness and trust. They explore how people move in and out of our inner circles over time, based on shared values and behavior. Chris shares his philosophy of offering friendship freely as a way to reveal true character. Jule reflects on her people-pleasing tendencies and how boundaries have evolved throughout her life. Together, they unpack how friendships form not just through proximity but through intentional choice. Timestamps (00:00) — Intro (07:45) — Four tiers of friends (13:52) — Reading people’s behavior (19:30) — Hidden intentions in relationships (25:42) — People-pleasing consequences (32:58) — Values shaping connection (39:44) — Judgment versus grace (47:10) — Navigating social hierarchies (54:55) — When friendships shift (01:02:12) — Boundaries and self-respect (01:09:49) — Avoiding harmful influences (01:16:33) — Friendship tests explained (01:23:25) — Giving versus being used (01:31:18) — Trust earned over time (01:38:10) — Acceptance and belonging Check out today's guest, Jule Kim: Jule's LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/julekim/⁠⁠⁠ Jule's Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/itsjulekim⁠⁠⁠ Executive Coach Jule Kim : ⁠⁠⁠https://adviceactually.com/⁠⁠⁠ Jule Kim's Podcasts: Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/3Wy7NzSjPBFU42tGS0jUeB?si=27adaa65f448473c⁠ Apple: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-how-you-think-a-personal-growth-and/id1821606552⁠ Check out The Futur: Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.thefutur.com/⁠⁠⁠ Courses: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.thefutur.com/shop⁠⁠⁠ Linkedin: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-futur/⁠⁠⁠ Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://thefutur.com/podcast⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/thefuturishere/⁠⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/theFuturisHere/⁠⁠⁠ X: ⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/thefuturishere⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thefuturishere⁠⁠⁠ Youtube:⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/thefuturishere⁠⁠⁠ Check out Chris Do: LinkedIn:⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/thechrisdo/⁠⁠⁠ Facebook:⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/BizOfDesign⁠⁠⁠ Instagram:⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/thechrisdo/⁠⁠⁠ X: ⁠⁠⁠https://x.com/thechrisdo⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thechrisdo⁠⁠⁠ Threads:⁠⁠⁠ https://www.threads.net/@thechrisdo⁠⁠⁠ Behance: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.behance.net/chrisdo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

We've been friends for, I don't know, 40-ish years now. I remember in the first six months,

0:07.6

I was pretty uncomfortable. I was super excited. I got to talk to you. I got to do the Clubhouse

0:12.6

Mod Squad with you and Lola and Martha. But there was a part of me that was seeking validation.

0:19.0

And in the back of my mind, when I finally like pull that thread

0:22.6

out from my subconscious, it was because maybe I'm smart because this person who I deem smart

0:29.4

will think I'm smart, right? So therefore, I must protect that at all costs. But my whole

0:35.5

method or MO in life has been, as soon as I find something that I'm

0:40.1

uncomfortable with, I rush straight for it. So I'm the person where if I F up, I'll tell you I

0:45.8

Fed up because having the weight of that hanging over my head will be far worse. It's like I won't

0:50.6

be able to sleep. I'll just be miserable. So I'm just going to tell you straight out.

1:05.8

And every time I've had these moments of thinking, God, Chris is going to think I'm dumb or I'm so lazy or whatever it is, I always reached this point of acceptance because I'm like, I can't control what Chris thinks.

1:15.9

And if he chooses to think that about me, then there's nothing I can do because I'm going to be me and I cannot pretend to be otherwise. So if that's what happens, then that's what happens.

1:21.8

Well, on that note, Joel, I think we're very much on topic to explore the idea of friendship,

1:26.7

what it means to be friends, or there are different tiers of friendship and how somebody might move closer or further away from your inner circle of friends.

1:31.0

Stick around.

1:34.2

We have different definitions of friends.

1:37.0

All right.

1:37.9

Well, what's your definition?

1:39.5

You go first.

1:40.9

To be honest, I haven't been really thinking about this.

1:43.2

But I was telling somebody recently,

1:46.0

I think I have four categories and I move people in and out of one category to the next.

...

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