Why Do Your Friends Believe the Person Who Abused You? [372]
Flying Free
Natalie Hoffman
4.9 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 24 March 2026
⏱️ 22 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What happens when seeing your ex derails all your progress? And why do your friends think he's such a great guy when you know the truth?
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Why seeing your ex after months can feel like all your progress disappeared (it didn't)
- What trauma bonding actually does to your memory of the relationship
- Why emotionally abusive people seem so great to everyone else
- The false equivalency that keeps people from believing abuse survivors
- How to know if you're lonely for him or for something else entirely
🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying FreeNow.com, and you're listening to the Flying Free Podcast, |
| 0:08.9 | a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden emotional and spiritual abuse. |
| 0:17.5 | Welcome to episode 372 of the Flying Free podcast. |
| 0:22.1 | Today I'm going to answer another listener question. |
| 0:25.1 | And by the way, if you have a question you'd like answered here, just send me an email at |
| 0:29.3 | Natalie at FlyingFreeNow.com. |
| 0:32.8 | All right, so here's what the listener wrote. |
| 0:34.8 | I have been divorced for seven months and I thought I was doing good. |
| 0:38.8 | I stay busy, moved across the country, bought a house, have a dog. |
| 0:42.7 | But then I saw him the other day, first time in seven months, and it totally set me back. |
| 0:47.9 | I've been depressed, crying, feeling alone and helpless. |
| 0:51.8 | I wish we could get back together. |
| 0:53.2 | I know. I know that would be a disaster. |
| 0:55.7 | I've been pondering all of the good times like crazy and saying, why? Why couldn't he love me? |
| 1:01.4 | I didn't want to get a divorce. Yes, he was a horrible narc, all the usual things. And then my comment |
| 1:07.5 | that you asked for input on, friends that say he's such a great guy or that |
| 1:12.0 | see him, text him, our buddies with him. So what do they think I'm doing? Lying that I made it all up? |
| 1:18.0 | When I said that I was mentally abused that it's all in my head? And he is a more fun guy. Obviously, |
| 1:23.6 | it hurts a lot, adding to me feeling useless and alone. |
| 1:28.6 | One friend, a Christian woman, said, well, both people say that the other one was at fault when they divorce. |
| 1:34.8 | Oh, nice. So do you say that if he was hitting her? |
| 1:38.3 | Okay. So you've done everything right. You've moved across the country, you bought a house, you stayed busy, |
... |
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