Navigating Discard, Revenge, and Unsupportive Friends [371]
Flying Free
Natalie Hoffman
4.9 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 17 March 2026
⏱️ 23 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode we tackle three questions: What happens when the abuser is the one who leaves? How do you live with the fear of post-separation or post-divorce revenge? And what do you do when your friends just don't get it?
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Why some abusers discard their victims (and what it reveals about your progress)
- The difference between fear you should listen to and fear that steals your peace
- What actually helps kids navigate their father leaving
- The one question to ask yourself when trying to help someone understand your experience
- Why chasing validation from people who don't get it creates unnecessary suffering
Get Today’s Free Resource:
📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying FreeNow.com and you're listening to the Flying Free Podcast, |
| 0:08.9 | a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden emotional and spiritual abuse. |
| 0:17.3 | Welcome to episode 371 of the Flying Free podcast. Today I'm going to answer some listener questions. |
| 0:25.1 | One is about navigating life after being discarded by an emotional abuser. But before we get to it, |
| 0:30.9 | I want to say, if you have a question for the Flying Free podcast, send me an email. It's Natalie, |
| 0:36.3 | N-A-T-A-L-I-E at Flying Free Now.com. Okay, here's the first question. |
| 0:42.8 | I'd love to see a question answered or the topic discussed on navigating life after being |
| 0:48.0 | discarded by the emotional abuser. It seems that most times in these situations, the men will |
| 0:53.7 | try to fake change or keep their partner |
| 0:55.9 | hooked in. After a long marriage that had mostly withdrawal from my husband, silent treatment, |
| 1:02.0 | occasional connection to keep me hooked, he just decided he was done. And that was that. |
| 1:07.5 | I had grown over the past few years once I realized what was going on and was participating |
| 1:12.5 | in support groups and so on. I had decided to stay, even though I stopped previous patterns of |
| 1:18.9 | trying to get him to see how he was affecting me, asking for change, only to be gaslit and end up |
| 1:25.0 | apologizing or promising to work on myself. |
| 1:28.3 | I'd love your advice on growth and healing after being the one who was left, |
| 1:33.3 | when you basically held things together the whole time even though it wasn't healthy. |
| 1:37.6 | Also would love to know how to help kids navigate this |
| 1:40.3 | when their dad leaves the home by his own choosing, |
| 1:43.5 | but tries to make it seem like a mutual |
| 1:45.6 | decision to end the marriage. All right, you know when I see men discarding their victims, |
| 1:54.6 | it's when, if that's going to happen, it's not as common as the other way around, but if that's |
... |
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