Why Couples Never Talk About Sex (And How to Start)

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 31 October 2025

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily tackles why starting intimate conversations early matters more than waiting for the "right time"—and how your sex life begins long before you get to the bedroom. A 51-year-old in Spain has been dating someone gorgeous for six weeks with incredible chemistry but zero penetrative sex—discover why having the "are we ready?" conversation over dinner (not after making out) prevents months of unnecessary confusion. Someone married for years realizes they're bisexual but fears coming out will end everything—learn the gradual approach that starts with general sex conversations, not dropping identity bombshells. A long-term couple has never discussed desires or fantasies despite years together—find out why waiting until there's a problem to talk about sex means you've already waited too long. Timestamps: EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily tackles why starting intimate conversations early matters more than waiting for the "right time"—and how your sex life begins long before you get to the bedroom. A 51-year-old in Spain has been dating someone gorgeous for six weeks with incredible chemistry but zero penetrative sex—discover why having the "are we ready?" conversation over dinner (not after making out) prevents months of unnecessary confusion. Someone married for years realizes they're bisexual but fears coming out will end everything—learn the gradual approach that starts with general sex conversations, not dropping identity bombshells. A long-term couple has never discussed desires or fantasies despite years together—find out why waiting until there's a problem to talk about sex means you've already waited too long. Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction 1:17 - When to Have "The Sex Talk" in a New Relationship 3:26 - Building Sexual Anticipation vs. Rushing Into Sex 5:25 - How to Talk About Sex Before You've Had Sex 8:14 - Faking Orgasms: Why It Hurts Both Partners 11:31 - Reader Question: Navigating Painful Sex & Communication 16:42 - Creating Safety When Past Experiences Were Painful 20:38 - The Importance of Lube and Going Slow 24:16 - Reader Question: Coming Out as Bisexual in Marriage 28:36 - Starting Conversations About Desires & Fantasies 30:38 - Living Your Sexual Truth at Any Age 32:24 - Practical Steps for Difficult Conversations

Transcript

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0:00.0	We have been taught essentially to make our partners feel good no matter what.
0:04.6	And even if that means costing us our own pleasure, we have been trained to be performative lovers.
0:10.4	You know, I used to think that if my partner had a good time and he orgasm, then it meant that it was good sex.
0:15.7	And so that's why I faked it.
0:18.4	But I want to remind you that faking orgasms doesn't serve you or your partner.
0:26.4	You're listening to Sex with Emily.
0:28.6	I'm Dr. Emily, here to help you prioritize pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.
0:33.6	Producer Erica and I are looking at the moments that make or break our intimate lives.
0:37.6	For example, when you're taking things slow and wondering how to turn the heat up without
0:41.5	killing the magic, or when something you tried before didn't feel great.
0:46.0	So naturally, your body tenses, and now you're out of it.
0:49.6	We'll share the small adjustments that change everything, how to set the scene outside the
0:53.3	bedroom, the kind
0:54.4	of touch that builds trust instead of tension, and the words that open doors instead
0:58.8	of shutting them. This show isn't about performing. It's about getting curious, communicating
1:02.9	clearly, and creating the conditions for real pleasure. If you're ready to feel more
1:07.2	and fake less, stay with us. Let's get into it.
1:17.6	This is from Mateo, he's a male 51 in Spain. Hey Dr. Emily, I've been dating a gorgeous woman for more than a month and a half.
1:21.6	We're both into each other physically and end each date with a makeout session.
1:25.6	We've not slept together yet and I'm ready for that step. I wanted to discuss with her what we need to do to get there or to find out if she just isn't ready. I think a big part of this is that she still has one child at home full time, and I live alone in my apartment. How do I bring up this conversation, or should I? I feel like I might be impatient here, but it has been a month
1:44.6	and a half, so I'm not sure. Thanks for any and all advice and I always love your content.
1:50.0	All right, Mateo, thanks for your question. These questions come up a lot, like how long should
	...

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