Why Bribes and Threats Aren't Helpful (and What to Do Instead)

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 13 October 2020

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent wants to get out of a cycle of bribing her 3.5-year old and writes to Janet for help. “It seems that in order to get him to do anything, I have to offer a reward, treat, or special outing.” If these strategies don’t work, she says, she will threaten to take something away. This mom admits that she is a people pleaser, so when she does set a boundary, she feels guilty about it. She worries that she’s teaching this to her son. “I don’t want him to feel guilty about his feelings or his boundaries.” For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new
0:07.6	No Bad Kids Master course.
0:09.6	You can find out all about it at nobadkidscourse.com.
0:14.5	Hi, this is Janet Landsbury.
0:19.6	Welcome to Unruffled.
0:21.4	Today I have an email I'm going to be responding to from a parent who really wants to get out
0:27.5	of the cycle of bribing her three and a half year old.
0:31.5	She feels like that's her only tool to get her son to do anything, to threaten or bribe
0:38.5	and she really wants to stop and also is concerned that she is a people pleaser and she's
0:45.7	going to be raising her son to be a people pleaser as well.
0:53.6	Every cell tissue and organ in our bodies need water to work properly.
0:57.7	So hydration is an important element of self care.
1:01.0	Even everyday activities like a trip to the playground, house cleaning, walking the dog,
1:05.6	long airplane flights and night on the town, all of these can cause dehydration and keep
1:10.4	us from feeling our best.
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	...

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