Why Assuming You Know Your Partner Is Destroying Your Marriage
Lights On with Carl Lentz
B-Side
4.8 • 797 Ratings
🗓️ 14 January 2026
⏱️ 34 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com
In this raw episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura tackle the question every married couple avoids: What is my spouse not telling me—and what am I afraid to ask? The answer will challenge everything you think you know about knowing your partner.
Drawing from 23 years of marriage and their own journey of rebuilding trust, Carl and Laura expose an uncomfortable truth: the moment curiosity dies, assumptions take over. And those assumptions are quietly destroying more marriages than the fights ever could.
Laura shares what she discovered when Carl checked her phone algorithm—and why the things we linger on reveal more than the things we say. Carl delivers the challenge most couples avoid: if swapping phones with your spouse sends a jolt through your body, that's not about technology. That's about distance and secrecy.
From the power of staying curious about someone you've known for decades, to why the unsaid things don't disappear—they just show up in ways you don't want—this episode delivers practical truths for couples who want to stop assuming and start connecting.
This episode will challenge any couple who believes they already know everything about each other.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Supported by Plana https://plana.org/
Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com
CHAPTERS:
00:00 One Way To Shift Your Marriage Fast
01:57 The Gift Of Not Fully Knowing Your Spouse
03:45 Laura's Australian Childhood
06:05 When Curiosity Dies Assumptions Take Over
07:00 God Behind Bars Partnership
07:45 The Algorithm Discovery That Started It All
10:17 The Phone Swap Challenge
13:15 Why This Game Scares People
15:01 The Thing You've Never Said Out Loud
17:04 What The Unsaid Does To Your Marriage
19:14 How To Create Safety For Vulnerability
21:08 Why Men Struggle To Open Up
22:17 Falling In Love With The Work
23:16 Plana Partnership
25:00 Why You Should Fight More Not Less
27:28 Fighting For Clarity Not Victory
29:24 Final Thoughts For Couples Ready To Go Deeper
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This episode is sponsored by Better Help. |
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... |
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