Why 50% of Marriages Fail: The Performance Problem

Lights On with Carl Lentz

B-Side

Religion & Spirituality, Christianity, Society & Culture

4.6 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 25 June 2025

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this revealing episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle the hidden baggage that can make or break relationships. With divorce rates climbing above 50%, they share the critical questions you must ask before committing your life to someone.

The couple dives into relationship templates and patterns, revealing how your upbringing shapes your expectations in love. They explore the difference between healthy disagreement and toxic manipulation, offering practical tools to spot red flags early.

Carl and Laura also address the overuse of "narcissism" as a relationship buzzword, providing clinical insight into what true narcissistic behavior actually looks like versus normal selfishness or addiction-related patterns.

From money conversations to compatibility, they share the essential discussions every couple needs to have—and why waiting until after marriage might be too late.

This episode is a wake-up call for anyone who's ever wondered why their relationships keep following the same destructive patterns, offering hope and practical wisdom for building something better.

Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/

Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/

Sponsored by BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/lightson for 10% off of your first month. Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbarss.com Supported by Plana https://plana.org/

As always, we appreciate you lights on listeners.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Marriage, once you're in it, can get complicated.
0:04.0	That's why the divorce rate is what it is.
0:07.0	It's because there is a certain point where the performance ends and the person shows up.
0:11.0	It's more than 50% now, right?
0:13.0	The most common window for divorce is year one and two, and then year five and eight.
0:18.0	Give me three things that people should try to find out as early as possible.
0:23.9	Lights on is sponsored by Better Help. It's okay to struggle. Real strength comes from opening up about
0:29.9	what you're carrying and doing something about it. So you can be at your best for yourself and for the
0:34.7	people in your life that you love. Therapy, it's not just about
0:37.7	trauma, it's about learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries in your life that
0:42.2	create new freedom. With over 35,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online
0:48.6	therapy platform, having served over 5 million people. And it works too, with an app store rating of 4.9 based on over
0:56.0	1.7 million client reviews. And it's convenient. You can join a session with a therapist at the click
1:02.5	of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus, you can switch therapy and therapists
1:07.6	at any time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world,
1:12.1	BetterHelp can provide access to mental help professionals
1:15.1	with a variety of expertise.
1:17.4	Talk it out with BetterHelp.
1:19.2	So our listeners get 10% off of their first month at BetterHelp.com slash lights on.
1:26.2	That's betterhelp.com slash lights on. Welcome back to lights on.
1:32.5	Laura Lentz, aka Roberto Duran. You're back with me.
1:36.3	Carl Lince. Hey, shout out to you, aka Magnum PI.
	...

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