White House Riff Raff
Absolutely Not
Dear Media
4.9 • 14K Ratings
🗓️ 9 March 2023
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from serving her country by performing comedy for drunk white women. Not only did she get to visit the white house, but bamboozled her way into the hearts of the national press and will never have to worry about unflattering TMZ photos ever again. She also hits the hotline and tries to make sense of why women can't open marinara jars and how do we stop our elderly mothers from getting swindled by ex-cons. That and more!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The following podcast is a deer media production. |
| 0:06.5 | Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time. |
| 0:12.4 | I'm your host Heather McMahon. |
| 0:22.2 | Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not podcast. |
| 0:26.8 | Because I apologize, this episode is going to be audio only recorded in an episode and it didn't work. |
| 0:33.0 | So we're starting over. |
| 0:35.2 | So I'm cranking the sound in the basement, old-fashioned style. |
| 0:38.6 | No, a lot of y'all are wondering Heather, where we're going to be able to see the full episodes. |
| 0:41.2 | We're about to launch a YouTube page. We're going to have plenty of episodes up with video, |
| 0:45.6 | but just hang tight. I'm going to let you know when that comes out. But for right now, |
| 0:49.0 | this one's audio only. You know, I know I should have done that like eight years ago. |
| 0:52.9 | I know that that was a part of the original plan and I'm behind, but you know, and all the good. |
| 0:58.2 | I mean, it can you imagine we had ovaries on an airplane recorded on video? |
| 1:03.5 | I want to would have won at least a B-body award, probably a SAG award, maybe producers guild something. |
| 1:11.6 | It would have definitely won something. So, you know, just looking back at three years of missed |
| 1:16.7 | opportunities, but here we are. What do I just paint the picture for you though, even though you can't |
| 1:21.2 | see this? I'm in my home studio. A lot of stuff has been moved out to the actual podcast studio |
| 1:27.1 | at my office. So I want you to know it's like half barren, half-chotchky still up on the wall, |
| 1:32.4 | loose nails on the wall from pieces of art that have been taken down to the office. |
| 1:36.3 | And I was trying to shred some tax papers yesterday that needed to be, you know, just some personal |
| 1:42.7 | financial things. And I didn't realize that the shredder was full, which is Jeff's job. You |
| 1:48.0 | know, he's our home shredder. And I accidentally bumped over the shredding machine. I don't know |
... |
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