Which animals are the biggest jerks in the zoo, and what do they do?

Ah, cassoiris!

If anyone needed to go into their enclosure, there had to be two others in riot gear.

Nothing makes you crap your pants more than scrambling behind those guys and hearing the karate kick of the gods smash a riot shield behind you.

Aldabra tortoises.

They have an outdoor pen, but obviously they're stuck in a smaller indoor enclosure during the

colder months.

They won't leave you the F alone.

I was watering the plants at one point when two big males snuck up behind me and pinned me

to the wall.

I pinwheeled my arms and fell onto one's back and sort of got to ride him.

Other times, they decide to sit right in front of the door. So you're stuck until you convince

them to move. You certainly aren't going to move 500 pounds of turtle on your own. If you put a

squeegee against the wall, they simply have to knock it over and sit on it. You got the hose out? Yep, they've got to sit on that too.

Bringing out food, they'll sit right in the frickin' feed troughs. There's a teaching zoo near where I live,

and a few years ago they had to evacuate due to a wildfire. Afterwards, the local paper did a piece on it,

and they interviewed the people who had to evacuate the animals. They have lions, water buffalo,

cougars, hyenas, all kinds of large animals. Which one was the hardest to evacuate?

The Galapagos Tortoise. He's enormous, bad-tempered, and much more difficult to train than

most of the other animals. Getting him out of his enclosure and onto a truck was apparently quite the

challenge, especially given the

short time frame they had for evacuation. I wasn't there at the time this happened, but I used

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