Sometimes when you're trying too hard to impress your spouse, there's something deeper going on beneath the surface.

It might be because of something that happened

long ago when you were a child. I'm John Fuller joined by my focus colleagues

Aaron and Greg Smalley and Aaron in your counseling work. I wonder if you can describe a time when you saw some issues

in front of you that the couple was dealing with but the threads go way back into childhood

yeah well first of all, most times.

It is something from our family of origin.

And I mean, almost all issues lead back somewhere

to something we've experienced previously,

especially when they're big reactions in the present,

there's a high probability it's tied to your family of origin

or something in the past.

Matter of fact, I have a couple friend

that they begin to notice very different responses

when their kids were sick.

And it was interesting because the wife had a large response emotionally when her kids were struggling with any

physical ailment and so as we dug into that it was so interesting because you

know really I was like what is the fear there and you know and

she was like well I feel helpless and out of control and but then we tied it

back to her childhood and she said well it makes total sense growing up in my house we didn't

have health insurance and so if someone was sick well it was kind of a

frenzy because we had to get rid of the ailment before we ended up in the ER.

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