4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 13 October 2025
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Ever feel like you're the only one in your marriage who wants to have sex?
In most marriages, there is typically one partner with a higher sex drive—and that person is usually trying to convince the other to have more sex. In this episode, Juli and Dr. Corey Allan talk about how to move beyond "I have a need, and you have an obligation" to real sexual intimacy.
Guest: Dr. Corey Allan
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Follow-Up Resources:
God, Sex & Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery
Sexy Marriage Radio with Dr. Corey Allan
Follow Dr. Corey at @sexymarriageradio
Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Java with Julie. I am Julie Slattery, and I'm really glad that you're here. |
| 0:08.0 | This podcast is an outreach of authentic an emcee, a ministry dedicated to helping people make sense of God and sexuality. |
| 0:16.3 | Well, you know, in a lot of marriages, there's a hidden dynamic around sex that no one really talks |
| 0:21.7 | about. And this happens when one spouse wants sex and the other one doesn't, or maybe doesn't |
| 0:27.1 | want it as often. Sometimes it's the wife who wants sex more often. I think stereotypically, |
| 0:33.2 | it's the husband, but it can go either way. In either case, they have a mismatched sexual desire, |
| 0:38.9 | and that comes with pressure and even some unspoken expectations that can chip away at real |
| 0:45.2 | intimacy in their marriage. My guest today is Dr. Corey Allen from Sexy Marriage Radio, |
| 0:51.5 | and in this episode, we're going to dig into why that mismatch desire |
| 0:55.7 | often gets framed as, I have a need, and so you have an obligation. And why that kind of |
| 1:01.8 | mindset is going to leave you both feeling really frustrated and unsatisfied. So we're going to |
| 1:07.1 | explore how to bring what's actually happening beneath the service out into the open in your marriage, what Dr. Allen calls making the covert overt. |
| 1:16.8 | Now, I want to warn you, Dr. Allen speaks really frankly through our conversation, and I appreciate that. |
| 1:22.9 | He said it well. |
| 1:24.2 | There is so much hurt and confusion around issues of sexuality. |
| 1:27.2 | In order to cut through |
| 1:28.5 | all that noise, we just have to be frank. So many of you completed our survey, and by the way, |
| 1:35.2 | thank you. It was great to see your responses. And here's what we found. Mismat sexual desire is |
| 1:40.8 | at the very top of the list of the things that you said that you're struggling with |
| 1:44.5 | the most and the thing that you want us to be talking about. So you are not alone. And if this |
| 1:49.6 | conversation is helpful or interesting to you, would you share it with a friend or leave us |
| 1:55.3 | a rating and review in the podcast app? Those are both really good ways to help us get these |
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