When We're Too Late to Stop the Behavior (Now What?)

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 25 October 2022

⏱️ 22 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent with a family in transition writes about a series of mischievous and sometimes destructive incidents perpetrated by her toddler. She’s wondering how to address these situations, especially after the fact when the deed is already done.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Janet Landsfury. Welcome to Unruffled.
0:05.6	Today, I'm going to be responding to a Facebook message that I receive from a parent who is
0:12.5	wondering how to react after the fact when her three-year-old has done something mischievous
0:19.3	or destructive.
0:23.9	This is how this parent describes her current situation.
0:26.5	Dear Janet, I'm struggling with many things with my three-year-old, but one I can't find
0:31.4	the answer to is what to do when I find something bad that she's done.
0:36.4	For example, things like finding that she's drawn on the walls, that she's poured water
0:41.5	all over the floor, cut up some of her books.
0:45.3	I don't know how to react.
0:46.7	I don't know where to start.
0:48.5	I also have a ten-month-old, so I can't watch her all the time.
0:52.8	And I don't see some of the things until after the act.
0:57.0	Okay, so I feel for this parent.
0:59.2	This doesn't sound fun.
1:01.0	And first, I want to try to jump to a short answer.
1:06.2	What do we do when we find something, quote, bad that a child is done?
1:11.4	Well, we are going to have an organic reaction very likely.
1:15.5	And then as soon as possible, we'll want to try to take a breath and re-center and realize
1:22.7	that this does not mean that this is a bratty child.
1:26.9	It's not a sign that we're a terrible parent, but it's actually a message, even I would
1:32.6	say a helpful message that we can learn from.
	...

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