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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

When Kids Say Shocking or Rude Things – What’s a Parent To Do?

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.73.8K Ratings

🗓️ 22 September 2020

⏱️ 19 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A parent is distressed that his son says he doesn’t like, or is afraid of Black people, a sentiment that is abhorrent to him. "Worst of all," the dad writes, "he will say this when he sees Black neighbors." The dad realizes that his strong reactions may be making matters worse, but his son's statements are striking a particularly sensitive nerve. "If this were literally anything else I would just minimize my responses to it and acknowledge the feeling.” This parent feels at a loss and is hoping Janet has a solution. "This is absolutely the biggest parenting challenge I have faced." For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble and Apple Books. Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com). Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey everyone, before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new

0:07.6

No Bad Kids Master course.

0:09.6

You can find out all about it at nobadkidscourse.com.

0:14.5

Hi, this is Janet Lansbury.

0:19.5

Welcome to UnRuffled.

0:21.2

I have a question today from a parent who reached out to me on Facebook and it's very

0:27.0

concerned that his son is saying shocking and rude things in regard to black people.

0:35.0

And what I would like to talk about in this podcast is understanding why children repeat

0:42.0

and then sometimes start to say publicly, disturbing, dismaying and rude things.

0:49.2

Why does this happen?

0:50.2

How does this happen?

0:51.6

And what can we do about it?

0:57.5

Okay, here's the note that I received on Facebook.

1:01.0

Hi Janet, I hope you can offer advice here.

1:04.0

Set up for this question is, my wife and I are both white and our son is white.

1:09.4

We live in a small southern city that is still pretty segregated and most of the people

1:14.0

are sunsies in our daily life and our personal life are white.

1:18.0

My son will be five next month and has largely been home with one of us since birth, with

1:22.8

the exception of a very rocky attempt at starting preschool that was ended by the pandemic.

1:28.6

He's very bright, has great language and critical thinking skills and is inconveniently insightful

1:34.8

about how to find exactly the right framing to turn a situation in his favor.

1:40.2

He's extremely attached to my wife and sometimes seems to see me as the not mama and

...

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