When family believes they know what's best for you

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.5 • 2K Ratings

🗓️ 14 April 2024

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

As an adult, you've learned to take care of yourself. You believe you are making the right decisions and following the best steps you can to find happiness. But then there's family. Some family can believe you're doing the wrong thing and want you to follow their way and their path. If you don't want what they want, it can cause a big issue.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Why would anyone as an adult listen to another adult tell them what to do, and how to live their life.
0:17.0	I'm not talking about a job, I'm not talking about following the law, I'm talking about people in relationships. Talking about
0:26.6	family. Talking about romantic partners. I'm talking about friends, anyone that is old enough to live their life
0:38.0	and make decisions, make money, contribute to the world, and do what they want to do.
0:45.0	Why do people do what others tell them to do?
0:51.0	Or if they don't do what others tell them to do, why do they fall under the spell
0:59.1	that some people have? And let me give you an example. Somebody wrote to me and said,
1:05.0	my family doesn't like my wife.
1:07.0	They don't like her.
1:09.0	We've been married for years and I don't know what to do.
1:14.0	He said that nobody in my family likes my wife and they all insist that she took me away from them.
1:22.0	I told them multiple times that it's not that way at all, but they don't
1:26.3	want to understand.
1:29.2	First thing that comes to my mind is something my mom told my girlfriend and I when I was with somebody else way back when and she
1:36.7	said why don't you have kids why aren't you having kids it's so selfish that you don't have kids. I was surprised and shocked actually
1:48.4	because why does she care? That's what that was my thought. Why does she care? And why is it selfish? That was my second thought. And I know people are thinking because you're denying her to be a grandmother and all that, even though I have several other siblings with several other kids.
2:06.7	But I just thought it was kind of rude to say that.
2:11.9	Why don't you have kids? It's selfish? And I'm going to make that long story short.
2:18.2	And many years later, she said, you know what, I'm so glad you didn't have kids because there's so
2:26.3	many now there's so many kids in our in our family and I love them all but I
2:31.8	don't need any more I don't need any more. I don't need any grandchildren. And I think she realized
2:37.1	that it was unnecessary to say that. It was a decision that her and I would make or not and it wasn't up to her you know my mom and so
	...

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