What to do When Things Need to Change in Your Relationship

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 22 July 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It’s easy to see your partner as the problem when things feel unfair—but often, the patterns we feel stuck in are ones we’ve unwittingly helped create. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Packer of the About Progress podcast to talk about what it means to be a thoughtful changemaker in your relationship. They explore how to recognize when you’ve been over-accommodating—and how avoiding conflict or ignoring your own desires can quietly erode both your well-being and the strength of the partnership. Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches that change begins by owning your role in the current dynamic—and using that clarity to engage in honest, collaborative conversations with your partner. **JOIN US for one of our upcoming events!**

Transcript

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0:00.0	I think we make the most progress when we start to realize I am the architect of my life.
0:06.2	I am the chooser.
0:08.2	And nobody's going to give me that clarity.
0:12.4	Nobody's going to grant me strength.
0:14.6	I have to be willing to tolerate the invalidation of standing up for what I think would actually be
0:24.5	better for me. And by extension, if it's truly better for you, it is also better for your family.
0:49.7	Welcome. Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more.
0:52.3	All featuring Dr. Finlayson-Fife.
0:56.9	Dr. Jennifer Finlayson- Fife, welcome to About Progress.
0:58.5	Thanks for having me.
1:02.1	It's been a while. I appreciate that you'd be willing to come back on.
1:07.3	Today we're going to be talking about something really tricky, but also really necessary.
1:12.8	You know, over the years in our chats, we've talked about how you're a sex and marriage therapist, but a large part of helping people through sex is actually working through
1:17.2	their relationship and their mind and what's going on with that. So it's not actually about the
1:22.0	sex. And similarly, but not similarly, I guess, I work with women on personal development,
1:32.5	but what we often have to work on is their relationships, you know, with other people.
1:40.5	So I'm sure you see this all the time that one of the biggest obstacles that women face to their personal development is actually their husbands.
1:42.7	And there's no real nice way to say that.
1:46.0	It's just there's a lot going on. There's a lot of reasons why. I'd actually like to start with why you think that is the case. I don't know if I would
1:51.6	say that the husband is the problem because I would say that the couple has, whether implicitly or
2:00.2	explicitly come to an agreement about how to do
2:03.3	family life. And now one person wants to change it. And I wouldn't say that's fairly a problem.
	...

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