Let's be honest, breakups can be brutal. Whether you saw it coming or got blindsided by a

we need to talk text, the pain is real. It doesn't matter if it was a three-month whirlwind or a 10-year

love story. Heartbreak hits like a freight train. As a psychologist

who's walked many people through relationship endings and experienced my fair share too,

let me break this down with you. Welcome back to savvy psychologist. I'm your host, Dr. Monica

Johnson. Every week on this show,

I'll help you face life's challenges with evidence-based approaches, a sympathetic ear, and zero

judgment. Before we get into what to do following a breakup, let's discuss some of the main

reasons why things end. Number one is a lack of emotional intimacy.

You can be sharing a bed, but feel miles apart emotionally. When one or both people stop being

emotionally available, a wall builds. It might start with fewer check-ins or skipped date

nights, and it grows into feeling unseen and unknown. Emotional disengagement is one of the

top predictors of divorce and breakup. According to Dr. John Gottman, when couples stop turning toward each other for connection,

trust and intimacy erodes fast.

Number two is poor communication and conflict resolution.

It's not about whether you fight, it's about how you fight. Criticism, defensiveness,

contempt, and stonewalling, the infamous four horsemen, poison even the strongest bonds.

Gottman's studies showed that couples who consistently communicate with these patterns have a 90% chance of breaking up.

I go in depth on these four communication assassins in episodes 408 and 409 of the podcast.

I'll link them in the show notes if you want to go deeper.

Number three is a mismatch in core values or life

goals. You love each other, but you want wildly different things. Maybe you want kids and they don't.

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