You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.

Each week, we dive into topics that reflects something of what it means to foster hope and healing

in a world so in need of restoration.

These conversations grow out of the work we do with individuals and communities across the country,

which you can learn more about at the Allender Center.org.

I'm with three dear friends.

We work together not only in the Allender Center, but in a great privilege for me,

and that is I work with these three men in men's sexual abuse recovery weeks.

And what we want to do in this next episode is to invite women into that

process as we began inviting men. What do we want women to know about men's sexuality that

either doesn't get sad and or is hidden underneath all sorts of mythology that keeps us actually from being able to tell the truth

about the nature of who we are as sexual beings. So gentlemen, Sam, Jay, Wendell, thank you again for joining me.

You're welcome. Good to be here. Good to be here.

So what do you want your wives?

What do you want other women to know?

I think what comes in my mind, and it's almost the way we ended the previous podcast,

and that is like a lot of fear around sex for me actually handed my curiosity for my own wife's body.

Just being so worried I was so concerned with my own and also learning that, oh man, sex is really about me,

having to actually learn my wife's body. And pornography did not teach me that.

Pornography taught me, as an addict, pornography taught me that sex, essentially was kind of this selfish

act about me receiving pleasure and hoping she receives pleasure. And but never explained

that, oh my gosh.

...