What is the most embarrassing way your body has betrayed you?

I danced classical ballet for years when I was younger.

One day when I was 12, we were doing a stretch where we were lying on our backs with our butts

scooted to the wall, and our legs stretched towards the ceiling.

We would let our legs fall into the splits, letting gravity assist us.

So we were lying there, listening to quiet piano

music, my legs wide open, and the girl next to me was whispering jokes, and making me giggle.

I could feel the onslaught of explosive gas happening, but being young and stupid, I was afraid

to close my legs because I thought I'd get into trouble. So I ripped the loudest, most terrifying

to-toot to ever exist. I think I blew a hole in my little pink leotard, I swear to God.

The room was a huge wooden studio, so that expulsion from hell was bouncing off the walls

for like 15 minutes. All the little girls started screaming. I was screaming. The teacher was probably

screaming. Still gives me nightmares. I stood up from sitting at work and screamed in pain because I got a

cramp behind my nuts. I don't know how to explain it, but that's where I felt the pain.

My co-workers were dying of laughter when I explained what my scream was.

In sixth grade, I got hard for no reason and then was asked to go hand something to the teacher.

When I stood up, this girl that sat near me stared right at my nether's with wide eyes.

I'm just thankful she didn't tell anyone, or I might not have heard the end of it.

Last summer, I tripped over something while walking on the sidewalk.

Happens every now and then.

No big deal.

It normally just looks like a funny skip or something, except this time I kind of leaped forward

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