Thanks for downloading my call of the day podcast you two can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from two to five PM Eastern time on serious XM triumph 1 11 crystal. Welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call. I've listened to you for a long time in my daughter. My three daughters and I listen to you every day after school. Excellent. I'm happy to hear that. What can I help you with now?

So I need your help and advice on how to proceed with a relationship between me and my sister. About two years ago. This is kind of between two different families. About two years ago I had a my my family, so my daughters and my husband and I had a falling out with my mother and law. She has a son that battles with addiction and she tends to enable him and I didn't feel it was safe for my children anymore. Sorry.

I'm very nervous. And since those that two years. My mother and laws relationship with my sister has grown. And they've kind of they have a relationship now together and now I'm finding that my mother and law is being invited to family events with my side of the family.

I'm kind of not sure where my role is and how I should proceed with my relationship with my sister.

Well, your concern was your brother and law, not your mother and law. You are protecting your kids from your brother and law, assuming he's not a danger and he's not invited and could be dangerous. Then you go and be polite.

He's a danger. He's very much a danger. Well, when he physically is invited somewhere, don't go.

Visit family members at some other time. You don't have to go to the party. You can visit your relatives any other time.

Okay. Yeah. You just you just tell them it can't make that. But Sunday, the 84th, how about I come over and we have a picnic.

Okay. And you don't argue and you don't argue about it.

Okay.

With my with my mother and law, she doesn't have she doesn't speak very nicely about us.

Is there any is there any with with my sister and I our relationship.

Should I talk to her about that at all or is it just irrelevant and just not irrelevant. It's not irrelevant. But if your sister is not doesn't have your back, then I guess you're not very close to your sister anymore either.

Yes. Yeah. That's kind of what I'm thinking. There are sisters and then the resistors. Yes.

And we grew up. We weren't very close growing up and we're neither one of us are close with our mother.

So I feel that my mother and law has now filled the role of our mother in her life.

Okay. Well, then she's willing to sacrifice you to have a surrogate mother.

Yes. So it ain't personal. It's our weakness in need. Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

That's been very helpful. I've kind of felt that that that has kind of been her need.

And she needs that more than she needs a sister. She needs a mother more than she needs a sister. So that's why I feel I'm being pushed aside.

I believe that is a beautiful analysis.

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