You're listening to On attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience

relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome

insecurity and build healthy thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. In today's episode we're talking all about

emotional availability or emotional unavailability. I think that this is one of those

terms and one of those concepts that's thrown around a lot, particularly in the

world of Instagram and social media, more broadly when we're talking about dating and red flags

and what to look for and building healthy relationships.

And I think that's with good reason, but I also think it's really important, as always, to approach

these sorts of big labels with a level of nuance and articulating, you know, what does it really mean when we're talking about emotional availability?

What are we looking for in other people?

And I would argue more importantly,

what does that look like within us?

Because I think it's really easy to focus on the ways

in which someone else might be, quote unquote,

emotionally unavailable and almost distract ourselves with all of their

shortcomings and everything that we want them to change while overlooking the ways in

which we might be exhibiting certain signs of emotional

unavailability, albeit maybe taking a different form. I think that a lot of the

time the the trope of the unavailable person is someone who is more

avoidant and aloof and hot and cold and you can't really seem to crack them and

...