You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships

and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, I want to share some thoughts

about the importance of self-care in a relationship.

Now, I think that this is something that we maybe overlook a lot of the time when we're talking about what it takes to build a healthy relationship.

Usually we're focusing on the relationship.

And that's understandable. That makes sense that we'd be thinking about the dynamics as between

us, our communication, our conflict, how to talk about needs and all of that stuff that is

inherently and overtly relational. But I think a really important puzzle piece, and particularly

for those of us who struggle with more anxious attachment patterns and who

very much have that tendency to focus on the relational piece all the time, sometimes to

the exclusion of the self piece, it really can't be overstated how important it is to really focus on the way that you take care of

yourself in the context of the relationship, both for your own sake, but also really for the

sake of the relationship. So I'm going to share some thoughts on why this is important,

what it might look like, what tends to happen when we neglect

self-care in the context of a relationship, so that you can maybe start to reflect on how you

relate to all of that, whether you have those tendencies and those patterns, particularly

maybe in times of stress in your relationship when things are

feeling strained, we can get a little bit lazy or sloppy with our self-care and that can

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