So I thought today would be a great day to tell everybody what a woman is.

Why?

It just occurred to me that 28 years ago, this week,

I gave birth to my first child, Michael.

Now... child Michael. Now, how do I describe the birth of Michael? Well, let's put it this way. I was two weeks late with Michael. I was almost 200 pounds,

198 to be exact. I did not skip a meal. I enjoyed every ounce of food. I had a ball.

Every child that I had. I enjoyed it. I was on television, but you know what? It didn't matter. When the show that I was on, it was, it didn't matter. I was just, yeah, the joke was everybody loved when I was pregnant because I would open a menu. Can't decide what I wanted. So I ordered everything on the menu. Everything shows up and then I'm

not hungry. But then I found a way to handle that later on, obviously. So here I am. I go home.

I'm on my, you know, maternity leave from As the World Turns and I'm waiting for this baby.

No baby.

I had a barbecue and invited the cast came.

I was flipping burgers.

No shoes, sundress, massive. I mean, I was absolutely, it looked like I was carrying twins. I'm not going to lie.

And no baby. So on the 29th of May, I was going to be induced.

I always said I wanted a natural birth.

You know, I'm that person.

Oh, everything's going to be great.

You know, I'm not using disposable diapers,

and I'm going to do everything organic.

Okay, sure.

Well, you start out that way in your head anyway.

And I just remember the only person who told me the truth about labor was my sister, Francis, Mary Frances, because she had three natural births.

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