What If Church Hurt Makes Gathering Feel Unsafe?

The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 956 Ratings

🗓️ 22 May 2026

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 10:24–25 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** If you’ve ever heard “do not give up meeting together” and felt guilt rise in your body, this episode is for you. In today’s reflection on Hebrews 10:24–25, Dr. Alison offers a compassionate look at church hurt, spiritual community, and why this passage was never meant to be used as a weapon. We explore: *How church hurt and religious trauma can shape your nervous system *Signs of an unhealthy community *How to discern a healthy spiritual community *How to take slow, wise steps toward connection after religious harm Go Deeper: Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal? Episode 163: Healing Spiritual Wounds – Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachael Clinton Chen Episode 153: Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, I'm Dr. Allison. Today's scripture offers us a wiser way of being human as we step into the day.
0:12.0	Today's passage is in response to several listener requests. If you've ever heard the phrase,
0:17.4	do not give up meeting together and felt a wave of guilt crash over you because you struggle with attending church. This episode is for you. Maybe you stepped away because you were spiritually
0:26.7	manipulated, shamed, silenced, or simply exhausted by a system that demanded your energy but didn't
0:32.1	nourish your soul. Maybe you didn't leave because you stopped loving God. Maybe you left because something in you finally said, I can't keep disappearing here.
0:41.8	And I want to say this at the very beginning.
0:43.6	I'm not here to guilt you back into the building.
0:46.2	I'm here to sit with you in the complexity.
0:49.5	Today's scripture is Hebrews 10, 24 through 25.
0:53.6	And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good
0:57.8	deeds, not giving up, meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another
1:03.6	and all the more as you see the day approaching. This passage has at times been used as a blunt instrument in a lot of churches,
1:13.1	as sort of a mandate that the Bible teaches you never to forsake the assembly.
1:16.7	You must come back to church.
1:18.9	But if you left a church because you were harmed there,
1:21.0	this verse isn't a weapon to be used against you.
1:23.7	This verse doesn't apply in this situation, full stop.
1:28.0	Let's start by talking about what church hurt can actually look like.
1:32.4	Church hurt can look like a leader who used authority to cross a boundary,
1:36.4	sexually, emotionally, spiritually, or financially.
1:39.9	It can be a community that closed ranks around the leader and silenced people who spoke up.
1:45.0	It can be the slow erosion of trust as you are told that your questions aren't welcome,
	...

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