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Yeah. Welcome to Ambridge on the couch and in-depth look at the archers with me, Harriet Carmichael, Jeff Thomas, Matt Rodriguez-Pain and James Everett.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, Lucy may need a minute. It's making us 20 minutes to get to be able to hear each other. Let's have a recap of what happened.

They'll say we'll be talking fast. Let's have a recap. I've got a shop coming.

Of what happened this week in Ambridge. We began the week with Freddie recovering from an overly

late Scrabble night with his mother and sister before showing farmers around the abattoir,

which appeared to include

Eddie, although quite how Eddie has convinced anyone he's a high-profile local business owner,

I'm unsure. Freddy, in a state of high panic about this impending official visit, left half his

notes on the hall table, told his sister on the phone that he didn't even have time to text

anyone, then spent 10 minutes yacking about

cricket. Yes, I thought that. Tom happily has decided not to be the cricket captain, as he has a

full-time job annoying crusty, so Freddie has taken it over instead. Brad, for misdivying reasons,

was desperate to join the team, despite sounding like he's worse at cricket than I am. He

sounded deeply depressed and as if he hated every single minute of it, so quite why he was forcing

himself to do it. I couldn't tell. Freddie made probably the one and only sensible suggestion of

his captaincy by putting Brad forward as apprentice scorer, which I think is equivalent of holding

the coats in a fight, but it sounds better to me and a lot more fun than all that running about in the hot. As a result, Brad popped round to Jimasys and seemed to grasp the intricacies of cricket scoring in about ten minutes, despite the fact it's like a cross between quantum physics and a Masonic ritual. It was very endearing, listening to the pair of them, like Obi-1 talking to Luke Skywalker.

Tony had a chat with Helen and said she couldn't be too surprised at her sales alone, considering

she only has two customers. The dairy has reopened, so Clary and Susan are off poo duty,

and back on to cheese. And to patronise them, Pat and Tony got them a new pair of wellies.

They could hardly control their excitement.

...