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Let's do this.

Welcome to Ambridge on the couch and in-depth look at the Archers with me, Harriet Carmichael, Jeff Thomas, Matt Rodriguez-Pain and James Everett.

Now before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap on what happened this week in Ambridge.

A very berserk week on the Archers with Neil's spring ring, Susan telling Clary she wanted

to be some cheese, fancy Joan, an Akram driving cardboard about on a moped, absolutely mad.

We began the week with the cricket team doing indoor nets in what appeared to be a Victorian

lunatic asylum, judging by the cackling laughter in the background.

Linda motivated Freddie by telling him that he was feeble.

Ah, the tactic of PE teachers for decades, always successful.

And not only that, but that he was going to have to fire half the team.

But surely as they're desperate for players, does that not just mean that firing half the players

means that they'll just have half a team? Helen bribed Susan and Clary with cake to break it to them that one of them was going to get the boot, but they all got temporarily distracted by the tea room being filled with gravel. Helen had another stab at it, Sons' cake and Sons Gravel. Her voice voice went all wobbly and then she said that they'd have

to apply for their own jobs. Lily, who is getting posher by the minute, was co-opted into becoming

director of cricket, a role which they all repeated slowly and wonderingly. Her breakthrough moment

in her new role was a discovery that cricket players get paid for playing.

Well, I had no idea. I thought that was why that beardy one had to do shredded wheat adverts,

but no, 50 quid a match. She wants to pay Rex after telling him that his taxi business was shit

anyway, so he wouldn't be losing much by playing. Not only is she director of cricket,

...