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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch, an in-depth look at the archers, with me, Harriet Carmichael, Jeff Thomas, Matt Rodriguez-Pain, James Everett and Lucy V Freeman.

You didn't put your name on that.

Oh, didn't I?

No, but I remembered what your name was, luckily.

I even put V in it, which stands from Veronica.

No, vagina, actually.

Of course, because you are all women.

Oh my God, I'll probably have offended someone.

Not because you have a, anyway.

Before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap on what happened this week in Ambridge. It was a very

extraordinary script this week. A BBC bite-sized GCSE guide to Ramadan. Linda saying something to

Khalil when he'd had an idea. It's something like, that is a good thought, Khalil. And a load of

scenes that just fizzled out as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over them.

Also, more mixed metaphors than ever before.

Krusty said she was bending over backwards while Natasha took her for a ride, which was quite the mental picture.

And Pat was apparently stuck on a roundabout being passed between pillars.

We began the week with Linda and the Malix, with Linda and the Malics, and Linda telling

Azra and Zainab that she was better at fasting than they were and she'd found it a total breeze.

...