"What Are We Really Arguing About?" The 3 Sources and Methods of Arguments: Episode 220
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 12 April 2022
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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About the Episode:
You've had this thought in the middle of an argument right, "what are we really arguing about right now?" This is a very common feeling about being lost or unclear about what is being fought about or what started it. If you think about it, when you find yourself in a place like this, is it likely you can easily find your way out if you don't even know what got you here? Likely not!
But this is not just you, arguments have different layers and if you are unclear, like even about what your desired outcome is, how can you expect to be anything but confused and ineffective?!
That's why in today's episode you are going to hear our takeaways from the book "Thank you for arguing" and how we even used it to understand more about an argument we had (yes it's true we have arguments ourselves!). As you will hear though, all relationships have arguments but there is one key that leads to a healthy relationship, or ones that eventually end!
On top of that you are going to hear the 3 sources of arguments as well as the 3 methods of arguments so that you can better navigate arguments in your own relationship and bring them to a win-win resolution to be more connected and understanding of each other.
Resources For Your Relationship:
Watch our FREE WebClass on: The 5 Steps to Fully Repair After an Argument So You Reconnect in Minutes (Instead of Hours, Days, Weeks). Pick a time to watch it here.
Order our book, The Argument Hangover, and get over $200 of free bonus gifts (like the mini course and a 90 minute training)
The referenced book for the episode: Thank You For Arguing by Jay Heinrichs
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship |
| 0:05.1 | advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay in the same |
| 0:09.9 | team no matter the challenge that you face. I am one of your host, Aaron Freeman. And I'm |
| 0:13.8 | Jocelyn Freeman, but you all just know us as the Freeman's. And this episode is about |
| 0:17.8 | what are we really arguing about? The three sources and methods of arguments. Do you ever have those times either during or after the argument where you're like, what is this about? Like, why did it become this? Like, what was the beginning? What are we talking about now? What is the topic anymore? And you can lose sight of it. And that happens in a second when you just keep on fighting. So you have that thought, but yeah, I don't know why, but I'm just going to keep on going. |
| 0:41.1 | Well, Aaron, we wrote a book about arguments called The Argument Hangover, but we also still enjoy |
| 0:47.5 | learning and listening to other books and reading other books on communication and conflict. |
| 0:51.9 | So do you want to share your experience of just a |
| 0:54.3 | recent book that you were listening to? Yes, listening to a book. It's funny to say that, right? But on Blinkist, which is an app I've just recently come across, even though they've been around for four or five years, you can get kind of a great summary of books and then you can listen to them as well, we're going to be, our podcast is going to be on there as well. So that's a future thing coming |
| 1:14.1 | up. We're going to be, our podcast is going to be on there as well. |
| 1:13.0 | So that's a future thing coming up. |
| 1:14.4 | We're excited to share about more later, but I was listening to this book called Thank |
| 1:19.4 | You for Arguing. |
| 1:21.3 | And I mean, if you want to dive into it, this book is really great. |
| 1:26.3 | I got new context around arguments. Really honestly, I was listening to it |
| 1:33.6 | because we had just gotten an argument. We're going to share the story about it. I want to share it |
| 1:37.6 | here with you. And I just do like learning more about, well, psychology, humanity, why people do what they do arguments so this |
| 1:48.4 | really resonated with me and this is basically where i'm going to share from this three sources |
| 1:56.1 | and then the methods of arguments all come from this book but But I want to share because I saw exactly the |
| 2:03.5 | source and the method in how I was arguing around ours. Yeah. So before we go into it, I think |
| 2:10.7 | you guys are going to kind of laugh and relate to our story, our argument. But first, before |
| 2:15.4 | going into that, you know, I'd like to remind you |
... |
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