Defensiveness and Shutting Down: Interrupt These Frustrating Patterns: Episode 219
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 5 April 2022
⏱️ 24 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
NEW COMMUNICATION WEBCLASS on April 12th 2022: Don't miss this live weblcass to end frustrating patterns and better understand each other. https://onlinecouplesworkshops.com/
Is the following communication pattern at all familiar to you?
Partner A- attempts to share a feeling or need.
Partner B- wasn't prepared and then gets defensive.
Partner A- gets triggered by the response and feels invalidated.
Partner B- starts shutting down and disengaging.
Partner A- gets reactive and brings up the past or blames.
Partner B- retreats and withdraws their attention, energy and love for a day or even a few.
Imagine if you could finally break this pattern! That is what this episode is all about and you will see a key way to interrupt this pattern to go from disconnection and frustration to connection and understanding.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empower Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship |
| 0:05.4 | advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stand the same team |
| 0:10.7 | no matter the challenge that you face. I am one of your host, Aaron Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, |
| 0:15.1 | but you all just know us as the Freeman's. This episode is about defensiveness and shutting down |
| 0:20.0 | interrupt these frustrating patterns. |
| 0:22.4 | And it can feel frustrating, right? Here you are. You're in this partnership. You love |
| 0:27.0 | each other. You want to be the best partner that you can be. And you find yourself sometimes |
| 0:32.7 | acting, usually retroactively is usually after the situation where you're like, why do I do that or why does my partner do that? |
| 0:40.3 | It leaves you feeling disconnected. |
| 0:42.3 | So I want to paint a picture of a common pattern |
| 0:45.3 | and that we actually put up a post on Instagram today |
| 0:48.3 | that seemed to really strike a chord |
| 0:50.3 | because a bunch of you registered for our web class, |
| 0:53.3 | which I'll tell you about in just a moment. |
| 0:55.3 | So here's a situation. |
| 0:57.0 | Partner A attempts to share a feeling or need. |
| 1:01.0 | Partner B wasn't prepared and gets defensive. |
| 1:04.3 | Then partner A gets triggered and feels invalidated, so partner B starts shutting down and disengaging. |
| 1:10.8 | Then partner A gets reactive and brings up the |
| 1:13.7 | past and partner B withdrawals energy for a day or maybe even a few days now I'm sure some of you were like |
| 1:22.1 | do they watch us that's what we could ask sometimes from people is like do you the answer is yes we do |
| 1:27.3 | watch you. |
... |
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