Medical mishaps, so awkward, you'll feel second-hand shame.

It was six years ago when I was 18. I'd been in my first year of college, so needless to say,

my student diet wasn't that great. My boyfriend and I were house-sitting for a friend,

and on the third night there, I was awoken to the most terrible stabbing pain in my stomach.

I tried to get to the bathroom,

but I ended up collapsing on the floor in a near fetal position, barely able to breathe and sweating

profusely. My boyfriend hears me fall and gets up to see what's wrong. I can't speak. The pain is so

great and I'm having a hard time breathing, so he painstakingly leads me to our friend's car and drives me to the hospital.

At this point, I'm in so much pain from him not really knowing how to drive a stick and jerking and stalling all the way,

that he has to go in and ask for assistance.

I'm loaded into a gurney and strapped in because the outstretched position nearly kills me with pain,

and I start lashing out. After the doctors

cut off my clothes and see no outward injuries on my stomach, he begins to compress on my stomach,

which nearly makes me pass out. He thinks my appendix must have burst or that I had a ruptured

intestine. I'm administered IV morphine, and I finally get some relief. They roll me down the hall and start taking some scans of my stomach. To get the x-rays back takes a while, so while we were all awaiting the picks, I was administered some more morphine. Eventually, a big woman with a Texas accent, enters the room and exclaims, You're full of crap! What? I ask, completely confused and holding my stomach. I'm serious, I'm in a lot of pain. Oh, no doubt, she said, and pulled out an x-ray of my stomach. You see all that white in your guts? She points with her pen and traces all the way up from my butthole through my large intestines. You're literally full of it. I've never seen someone so full of crap in my life. My boyfriend erupts in laughter and the nurse is trying her best to hide her amusement, as she's been tending me through the hours and knows that I'm obviously in a lot of pain. I groan, but I'm a bit amused myself. It was pretty funny after all. I asked the doctor what they were going to do about it, and she said that

they were going to do an enema and see how that went. I was given laxatives and a ton of water, and told to wait 20 minutes. I can feel my stomach rumbling a bit at this point, and it hurts me a lot when it does. Eventually, a nurse wheels in what looks like a rack fit for a leather-clad professional's basement, complete with ankle and wrist

straps. My boyfriend, again, erupts into a fit of laughter. I'm not amused this time. I'm

starting to get a bit embarrassed, so before we begin, I ask that he leave. He pretty much

begs me to let him stay, but I'm having none of it. After he leaves, the nurse wheels in

what looks to be some sort of futuristic pressure washer. I'm pretty none of it. After he leaves, the nurse wheels in what looks to be some sort of

futuristic pressure washer. I'm pretty much right. She straps my ankles and wrists to the rack

in an upright position and proceeds to insert the tube into my butt. It's uncomfortable and cold,

...