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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Wednesday 4.8.26

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 8 April 2026

⏱️ 122 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

SlimFasts’ job is to make Lazlo comfortably high. Lazlos’ not afraid to punt Twister, and explains his big experiment for America. The guys have never been so excited for GOLF. Is there a ceasefire? The replacement for Steven Colbert was finally announced. Daddy’s giving Slim a baseball. Lazlo can’t wait for Juggalos and MAGA people to meet. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:31.6

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:42.0

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.8

Yo!

0:48.3

How are you, my friend?

0:50.1

Never better.

0:51.2

Yeah, great.

0:51.8

How about you?

0:52.2

Just one day, man, blurs into another. Jesus Christ. I know. 24 years later or something, here I am. Today's only Tuesday, so. Getting high in the morning, trying to get through another day. Oh, yeah. Did you see your... Yeah, no, thank you. Allergy. I'm shot. Meds and the shot glass. I'm over there. I can't tell if there was dried booze in there or not but i

1:14.6

figured you know you're past the job security thing like when you first started here and you had to

1:18.8

bring me drugs and stuff you know you don't have to do that anymore is it just habit now uh

1:24.2

i just assume you'd want them well i do i'm just saying you don't have to well i know i know that

1:29.7

i just like when you started here you had to yeah that's why i've hired you make sure that

1:34.5

right make sure that i was high comfortably high all the time yeah yeah yeah no uh it's just a shared

1:40.3

a shared experience that you and I have.

1:45.2

Every morning.

1:45.7

Every morning.

1:46.7

And, you know, we've only got so many tools in the toolbox, so let's use them.

...

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