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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Wednesday 2.4.26

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 4 February 2026

⏱️ 125 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s crazy that Lazlo was basically on the brink of death. Smoking is on the rise. What makes you feel old? Men keep weird things in their notes apps (especially SlimFast). If Lazlo and SlimFast (and Denzel Washington) ruled the world, it would be so perfect. In Headlines, Lazlo and SlimFast discuss the ransom note connected to Nancy Guthrie, Jill Biden's ex being charged with murder, Bill Gates speaking out against the newest Epstein files dropped, Harry Styles’ insane ticket prices, and much much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.5

Blessed is he when the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.2

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:31.6

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:42.1

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.4

Ah, you good-looking son of a bitch, how are you?

0:50.4

I'm great.

0:52.0

How are you?

0:53.2

I'm all right.

0:54.3

What's right?

0:54.8

I mean, everything's fine.

0:55.6

You know, my back hurts a little bit, but it's fine. You know what? I didn't, I've been feeling better, and I didn't account for that two-day car trip. I didn't even think about it. Yeah. You know, because I'm feeling like, you know, it's like, just, and you get used to, it's crazy that they tell you this.

1:14.5

You're like, you know, it's like, just, and you get used to, it's crazy

1:13.7

that they tell you this.

1:14.4

Like, you know, if we can get that pain down to like, you know, a three, four and get rid of the infection, you'd be all right. Like, I'm like, three, four for the rest of my life. It sounds horrifying. It goes back to that thing you've talked about at a time, though.

1:25.0

Like how you get used to prison?

1:26.1

What do people live?

1:27.0

Right.

1:27.4

And also, what are people experiencing at any given time?

1:29.8

Right.

...

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