Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week, Wedding

Clashers. Laura brings the case against her fiance, Zack. Laura would like to alope. Zack

thinks they should have a bigger, more traditional wedding. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one

man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure

cultural reference.

My dear girl, have you ever noticed that the human race is divided into two distinct

and irreconcilable groups? Those that walk into rooms and automatically turn podcasts

on, and those that walk into rooms and automatically turn them off? The trouble is, they end up

marrying each other.

Bale of Jesse Thorn? Swear them in.

Please rise and raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever?

I do or whatever.

I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he did not attend

my large traditional wedding, though admittedly it was early in our friendship?

I do.

I do. Very well. Judge Hodgman, I don't feel bad about it just so you know.

I know, but I think Zack does. I didn't want to say anything, but...

Well, then this is going to be a sad podcast. You have to say some things, Zack. First of

all, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors. That was

impossible today. Can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced as I entered

the courtroom? What do we talk about? Laura, why don't you start?

...