We have something sad to share with the internet after 16 years of the Dan and Phil relationship.

I'm pregnant. No wait, why would that be sad?

We have achieved, M-Preg, much to the devastation of Tumblr. No. I don't know what you're going to say.

We went out for dinner the other night. Yeah.

This is our new, we've had launched, maybe we can be seen in public.

Yeah, dinner day. And the problem was about an hour new, we've had launched. Maybe we can be seen in public. Yeah, dinner day.

And the problem was about an hour in, we ran out of conversation.

I think we have had every chat that two people can have in their life together.

Have we reached the end of conversation?

And then Phil got out his phone. And I was just sat there looking at some pasta. And I just thought, how has this happened? Wait, because we usually have dinner with other people. This was one of our first in ages dinners together. No, wait. I got on my phone for a secret reason. Because you're a rude-ass bitch that has given up on this marriage, what? Marriage. I had an idea in my head. I didn't want to forget and it was a little Christmas present for you. And I was like making sure that I remembered it. Oh! Because I got out my phone and I should start looking at reels. No. Wow! Right. I thought we were doing that thing. Now, I am the asshole. You are. You were buying me a surprise gift? Yes. I am so sorry. Wow, there was me thinking maybe we've gone full circle and actually a healthy relationship is when you can sit in complete silence. One of you is looking at TikTok, the other person is looking at Reels. Maybe that is the Enlightenment we've reached though. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Well, you're not getting your gift now.

What was the gift? What was so important

that you had to interrupt the dinner? Yeah, it was a ball gag

so you'd stop interrupting me.

Wait, everybody

shut up. Oh, it's

the 1st of December.

It's time!

Time!

It feels so clean having a podcast on the first day.

Clapping it, clapping that cheeks, clapping that Monday, hard Monday's hard December, hard Christmas.

I love the first of December.

You go hard for Christmas season. I am so hard for Christmas. So many festive possibilities, so many wondrous moments that we're going to have. You want to get out the tinsul, you want to get out the spice. Just pressing tinsle into my nose and giving it a big sniff. He's been holding it back and now it's ready to crack. Honestly. I hate this already. I'm so happy. We haven't got a tree yet because we're disorganised. No. And if you don't know, Phil for the last few years, has got his tree delivered by a service that will bring a real Christmas tree to your house. But their branding is a man in a kilt will deliver your tree. Mill. And Phil had a bit of a current incident last year because a man turned up that was obviously just a very grumpy dude with a transit van. And Phil was like, where's the ham? Where's the knee? Where's the kilt? I paid 16 pound shipping and I want to see toes. I don't think that's what meant it. I was paying for the kilt though. I mean, I... Not the tree and a service of the delivery. No the delivery. I wanted him to arrive all festive with his kilton. Is this a problematic service where they are? It's clearly sending men in kilts to board housewives. They're advertising it. I'm the board housewife. I want the man in the kilt. They're advertising the service. You paid for the service. Yes. Where are the thighs? This year, I'm going to open the door in a kilt. To assert dominance.

...