We’re Parenting Too Much, And It’s Backfiring. What We’re Bringing Back from 90’s Parenting

After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings

Dear Media and Big Little Feelings

Big Little Feelings, Kids & Family, After Bedtime With Big Little Feelings, Deena Margolin, Kristin Gallant, After Bedtime, Parenting

4.5 • 5.8K Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We need to say something that might make you uncomfortable: we are over-parenting our kids. We are over-helping. Over-entertaining. Over-scheduling. Over-involving ourselves in every single moment of their lives. And it’s not making things better. It’s making our kids less independent, less resilient, and less capable of handling real life.

In this episode, we’re bringing back the parts that 90’s parenting got right (not the fear-based, emotion-dismissing, boooooorderline trauma parts), but the parts that actually built confident, capable kids. Because back then? Kids figured things out. They got bored. They solved problems. They had space to become themselves. And today? We’re doing so much for them… they don’t get the chance. This episode will challenge you — in the best way.

We’re talking about:

Why your kid NEEDS boredom (and why it’s so hard for us to allow it)
How constant involvement is quietly undermining confidence
The science behind independent play and why it matters more than any activity
Why fewer toys, fewer plans, and fewer interventions actually lead to better outcomes
How to step back without feeling like you’re failing your kid

Your job is not to make your child’s life smooth. Your job is to raise a kid who becomes an adult who can handle a life that isn’t. This episode will help you pull back, without guilt, and start raising a kid who can stand on their own two feet. Repeat after me : PERMISSION TO DO LESS. Sound too good to be true? Tune in to find out just how easy this simple shift in parenting can be.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a dear media production.
0:05.3	Oh, girl, you are going to love today's episode.
0:11.0	We are going over the parenting things that we would bring back from 90s parenting into
0:16.8	today's parenting because it will give you less anxiety. It's going to give you permission,
0:23.0	actually, to do less. And it's going to help your kids build real skills that they actually need
0:28.5	for life that in today's kind of parenting philosophy usually gets missed. So let's get into it.
0:35.6	Welcome to after bedtime, where the house is finally quiet, but the real noise begins.
0:42.0	The thoughts, the questions, the wondering if you're doing any of this right.
0:46.1	We're Kristen and Dina, child behavior experts, moms, and co-founders of big little feelings.
0:52.0	And we're not here to give you more pressure or perfect
0:54.5	parenting energy.
0:55.5	Nope.
0:56.5	We're here to tell the truth, the unfiltered, beautiful, brutal truth about what it means
1:01.2	to raise kids and re-raise ourselves in the process.
1:05.3	Because parenting isn't just about sleep schedules and snack hacks.
1:08.5	It's about healing.
1:09.7	It's about breaking cycles. It's about becoming the
1:12.3	kind of adult you want your kids to grow up to be. This is the place where we say the quiet parts
1:17.3	out loud and we're so glad that you're here. Hello, Kristen. Hey. Hey. Hi. It's good to see you. I'm sorry. I'm late. It's okay. I knew you would be. That's the thing. I planned it. That's where we're at, which I appreciate. I think we're in a really healthy place with it. It doesn't take away my shame of being, you know, 10, 15 minutes late to
1:46.6	everything. So I apologize. And it just is what it is. You know what I mean? I was here early and you're
1:54.8	forgiven. I love you just as you are. That's the best thing you could possibly say. I love that you know I'll be late.
2:02.1	Like, you know, the time really is 15 minutes later.
	...

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