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Childproof

We Have A Confession

Childproof

Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.92K Ratings

🗓️ 21 January 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Okay yes fine. We admit it. Sometimes we make meals our whole families enjoy and sometimes we make five different dishes, one for each human in the house. We do it because we can. Because it’s not that hard. Because not every moment needs to be a teachable one. And sometimes just getting dinner down their gullet is worth not fighting an entire war over a dang pea. We also admit a whole bunch of other stuff. Like how much more therapy we need and how we can’t take complements on this episode of Childproof. We want to hear from you! Do you have questions, comments, jokes, or anything else you want us to know? Email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com Join our Patreon for pre-show bonus content Video version of Childproof available on Youtube  Be sure to check out our other show ⁠Founded⁠ Find Gwenna's books here: Field Guide to Responsive Parenting Soul's Guide to the After Death Thinky Thoughts Childproof is a part of the Airwave Media network. Please contact ⁠advertising@airwavemedia.com⁠ if you would like to advertise on our podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Something unexpected has arrived in Happy Meal. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Hello Kitty and friends are teaming up for the ultimate collab.

0:08.0

Joining your little ones on a fun-fueled adventure. Some fun, some food, it's all inside this Happy Meal.

0:16.0

Until the 2nd of February from 11 AM includes one pre-selected book or toy whilst Docs last.

0:20.0

They grew into cute kids, but they were weird-looking wrinkle raisins for a little bit there, okay?

0:26.3

Yeah.

0:27.2

I had the unfortunate style of newborn.

0:30.1

Mom eyes are perfectly fine.

0:33.3

Raising a well-behaved child in this world requires strict discipline and punishment.

0:37.9

Today, we will look... No punishment. Today, we will look.

0:39.2

No, the f*** we will not.

0:52.9

Hello, and welcome to Childproof, an airwave media podcast. I'm Tor Media Podcast. I'm Tori Phantom. And I'm Gwen to Lathland. And today's episode can go in any direction. Literally. Yeah. We've been dropping notes into a shared note for the last week. They're very vague.

1:13.3

We haven't discussed them.

1:23.0

We've basically been silently prepping our own episodes and not talking to the other person with which we create child proof episode.

1:27.9

And we showed up today and sat in front of our microphones and we're going to see how this goes.

1:33.1

Yeah. Let's see if we remember what our notes mean because we short handed notes to ourselves.

1:38.9

No, I literally, as we were reading the introduction, I was like, what the f did I mean by yes, no hat?

1:42.3

Oh, did you just remember by saying it out loud?

1:49.4

Okay, so we got uh nerf guns recently they just materialized in my house for some reason and i did not get them i you know it happens and uh

1:56.5

i i think there is a point at which every parent goes. Nerf guns aren't so bad, right?

2:01.3

And then you get them.

2:02.2

And then you both hate them and they keep multiplying.

2:05.6

And you're not sure how that's happening.

...

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