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Good morning from hell. I am Chris and I'm dead and my eternal punishment is to do this

podcast where we interview everyone in hell and I'm joined by younger brother of Satan Clayton.

Hello, Clayton. It is a big date for us. Yeah, we're here live. Yes, at the premiere of the new

Mario movie, Mario. Well, yeah, I mean, we're there, and this is not sponsored. I think this movie's going to be absolute ass, but it gave us the opportunity to rub shoulders with hell's favorite celebrity, Chris Pratt. But fucking, Chris, you messed up our press passes. We're not even at the premiere. Does this look like a red carpet to you, Chris? Describe this carpet to me.

Well, it's kind of a darker red. No, it's like a mosaic of shit. It's a brown. It's a brown carpet. This is not red. It's the spillover for the premiere is, I think, what the lady in the line said, right? Yeah, that's what she said. Wow, what an honor to be here. Look at all these greats.

We have a custodian attending to room 437 over there. That's good. He's refilling the towels. That's fun. Yeah. It looks like the night manager. He's putting his boxed lunch into the company refrigerator. That's fun. There's some turtles. What? I think maybe we're in the movie. Coupas, you mean?

Yeah.

I think those are cardboard cutouts. Oh, oh yeah. They're even bent. Those are clearly the ones that they sent over because they were dysfunctional. This is miserable. This is embarrassing. I don't even think we should be here. I can't imagine any celebrities even walking by at this point. point. Oh, look, is that Mario? Wait, oh shit, is that Mario? I think it is. Wow, he's...

Wow! Oh. Oh, look, is that Mario? Wait, oh shit, is that Mario? I think it is. Wow, he's- Oh. No, that's not Mario, that's not Mario. Sorry, you look so familiar. Are you related to Mario in any way? Yeah, or do you like work here? I'm not a Mario, I'm a Mario. Oh, Wario. Oh, Mario. Okay. Yeah, you were like a character in Mario Kart, right?

Yeah.

Yes.

I mean, the Mario cart.

Oh, I used to win.

I used to, Wario, I'm gonna win, but I'm not winning anymore, guys.

I can't even get into the premiere.

It seems like you here too.

You're here for the remote premiere.

...