Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylor F. Jessie Thorn. This week, wake

me up before you go, bro.

Declan brings the case against his older brother, Taran. Taran's a heavy sleeper and often

relies on Declan to wake him up in the mornings. Declan thinks he should get used to a real

alarm clock since they won't be living together forever. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one

man can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

Oh, I have been out searching with the black book in my hand. And I've looked between the lines

that lie on the pages that I tread. I met the walking dude, religious, in his worn-down cowboy boots.

He walked like no man on earth. I swear he had no name. I swear he had no name.

Come on down and meet your judge. Come on down and make the stand. Come on down.

Come on down.

Swear them in and take the stand.

Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

So help you God or whatever. I do. I do.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he's asleep right now?

Yes. Very well, to a judgment.

Declan and Terran, you may be seated. I realize you're both children. Declan, you are 14 years old.

Is that correct? Yes. And Terran, you are 18 years old?

Yep. All right. And so I hope that my dramatic reading did not scare you. I am not a ghost.

I'm just a judge. Can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced for an immediate

summary judgment in one of your favors? Well, I'm not to I think it's the stand. Who's speaking?

Who's speaking? Terran. Yeah, the stand. Talking about Randall Flag. Yes.

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