Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorne. This week, O'Brother

Ware parked thou. Stephanie brings the case against her brother Mitch. They live at home

with their parents and can't agree. Who should get the coveted driveway spot and who

should trudge through the mud to get to their car? Only one man can decide. Please rise

as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

He's the judge's house and he owns it. He wanted the people he wanted in it and he

doesn't want the people that I wanted in it. I can't stand being in this house. In the

first place, it makes me terribly nervous. I'm scared to death of doors, locks, people roaming

around in the chambers under the trees and the bushes. I'm absolutely terrified. We better

check on the judge and his cats. He's a lot of fun. I hope he doesn't die. Judge John

Hodgman, you don't have enough clothes on.

Well, I'm going to get naked in just a minute so you better watch out.

Well, that's what I'm afraid of. Yeah, for what? Now why? Why? I haven't got any

warts on me. But John, the podcast, the podcast. I haven't got any warts on me. That isn't

the point, Judge John Hodgman. Oh, look, the cats going to the bathroom right in back

of my portrait. God, isn't that awful? No, I'm glad he is. I'm glad somebody's doing

something he wanted to do. Swear them in, bail of Jesse. I'm taking my clothes off.

Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth

and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide

by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he has one of those Mitt Romney-style

car elevators that allows him to drive directly into his home and he doesn't use it, preferring

to be conveyed by sedan chair. I do. I do. Very well. Judge Hodgman. Yeah, that's

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