Waiter, waiter, percolator & other tales

Simon Mayo's Confessions

Bauer Media

Comedy

5 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 25 July 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Step into the confessional for another uproarious episode of Simon Mayo's Confessions! Join Father Simon and the Confessional Collective as they sift through a treasure trove of laugh-out-loud confessions this week.

Starting with Mags, who shares a hilariously vengeful tale from her Glaswegian dad Bill, involving a mischievous act with washing-up liquid that turns a dull street into a bubble-filled chaos! Canoeing Keith reveals a mischievous act of sabotage during a summer camp that changed the course of his awkward teenage love life. Meanwhile, Moneypenny shares a delightful story about an alternative fact involving Ian Fleming and a local church, turning history on its head in the most entertaining way. Plus, don’t miss Brian’s hilarious account of getting back at an insufferable officer with a creative twist on coffee brewing! Tune in for laughs, moral dilemmas, and unforgettable confessions.

Have a story of your own? Send it to [email protected]!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hello, I'm Catherine Ryan from What's My Age Again. On the show, we talk all about embracing the changes that come with being alive and active.
0:07.6	The last thing any of us wants to be worrying about as powerful, dynamic, mature women is bladder leaks.
0:13.6	With tenor discreet, you don't have to. They're incredibly thin with 12-hour dryness and tenor triple protection from odor leaks and moisture.
0:20.8	You don't need to settle for period pads that aren't fit for purpose anymore. with 12-hour dryness and Tena triple protection from odor leaks and moisture.
0:24.8	You don't need to settle for period pads that aren't fit for purpose anymore.
0:28.1	Tena Discrete provides another thinner, superior solution.
0:34.1	Check out TenaDiscreet at tenna.com.ukau.U.K. slash women and choose product selector for a money off coupon. Always seek medical advice from your GP or a pelvic health specialist.
0:39.0	A Rayo original podcast.
0:42.2	Step into our confessional. Confess all. We won't tell anyone. Just the entire nation.
0:48.8	From Greatest Hits Radio, Simon Mayo's Confessions.
0:53.3	Yes, a very warm welcome to the greatest podcast of all time,
0:57.5	the most loved podcast in all the world. And I know that because as I open my mouth, Holly turns on
1:03.5	the lights. Oh yeah. Yes. It can be recorded just in case anything interesting happens. And that
1:07.8	makes me feel really good. It's like we're walking into heaven in here, aren't we?
1:11.8	Is that right?
1:12.6	Yeah.
1:13.3	They have really bright lights, do they?
1:15.6	I mean, I've, I don't know.
1:17.7	Yeah, no, I'm a big fan of the bright lights.
1:20.5	Love it.
1:22.0	Please, let's have them more.
1:23.4	That's what I say.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 18 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Bauer Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Bauer Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.