Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorn. This week,

vehicular hound inside. Alexa brings the case against her mom Leslie. Leslie loves her dog

Boo and takes her everywhere. Alexa says her mom allows Boo to do whatever she wants,

like riding in the front seat of the car, often in her mom's lap. She believes this behavior

is unsafe both for her mom and the dog. Leslie claims she has Boo's well-being in mind that her

behavior is perfectly fine. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge

John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents the obscure cultural reference. These are the simple

rules. No barking, no growling. You will not lift your leg to anything in this courtroom. This is

not your courtroom. No slaubering, no chewing. You will wear a flee collar. This is not your court.

No begging for food. No sniffing of crutches. And you will not drink from my toilet. This is not

your courtroom. This is the courtroom of Judge John Hodgman, shared by Bailiff Jesse Thorn.

Jesse Swear the men. Please rise and raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to

abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he's currently deeply enmeshed and

complex negotiations to star in a remake of Turner and Hooch as Hooch? I do. I do. Very well, Judge

Hodgman. Thank you, Bailiff Jesse. Alexa and Leslie, you may be seated for an immediate summary

judgment in one of yours's favorises. I'm just going to pluralize every word now because I don't

know what I'm saying. Can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced as I entered the

courtroom? I like you. Leslie, you are the mom in this situation? Yes, I am. You may go first.

Frankly, I'm so nervous. I don't even remember what you said. Okay, then that's no. Okay, that's

no. Yes, that's no. Now, Alexa, you are the daughter. Yeah. Do you wish to guess as to the provenance

of the piece of culture that I paraphrased as I entered the courtroom? I really don't know. It sounds

...