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The Bert Show

Vault: What Do You Do When You're In A Sexless Marriage?

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

News, Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 2 February 2026

⏱️ 16 minutes

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Summary

Vault: What Do You Do When You're In A Sexless Marriage?

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Transcript

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0:00.0

The Birch Show.

0:01.0

We took a call from a Birch Show listener.

0:02.7

I think she said she was like 27, 28 years old. And her sex drive is just like out of the park compared to her husband. Like they're having sex once every eight weeks or something like that, right? Yeah, he's turning her down constantly and they have, what, two or three kids, right? How many emails did you guys get from guys saying, look, I'll help her out on the DL, but I'll hook her up. That's just you.

0:21.4

Send me her number.

0:22.3

Yeah.

0:22.7

I seriously got about a half a dozen of them. from guys saying, look, I'll help her out on, you know, on the DL, but I'll hook her up.

0:21.4

That's just you.

0:22.1

Send me her number.

0:22.5

Yeah.

0:36.7

I seriously got about a half a dozen of them. I mean, like, from people I knew. I got like 20 from people I didn't know. We, um, so we talked to her for a little while, and then we tried to get some advice for her, but I kind of felt like unfulfilled. Like there wasn't any real... Well, there was a couple different things.

0:38.7

I mean, people said, first of all, to leave him alone and stop badgering him about it. But she had kind of already tried that, right? And then didn't she already try that? Yeah, she didn't badger him. And then they've gone two months without sex. Right. And then what else did we say? start getting maybe a little bit naughtier with him. Raise your game a little bit. Try something new.

0:57.6

One guy said, Right. And then what else do we say? Start getting maybe a little bit naughtier with him.

0:55.6

Raise your game a little bit. Try something new. One guy said, just completely change everything. Your hair color, you know, your personality. Yeah. Everything.

1:04.2

Change your name. Make him call you destiny.

1:06.6

So this is from CNN.com. And it's sexually incompatible troubled marriages.

1:13.5

And it says, I'm going to paraphrase.

1:16.7

I'm going to bounce around all throughout this article.

1:18.8

It's actually pretty interesting because this guy blames the institution of marriage basically more than anything else, right?

1:24.3

He says that, look, if you think you're going to have mind-blowing sex your entire relationship, you're crazy. You're living a dream. You're just, it won't.

1:32.7

Like I said, I'll bounce around from paragraph to paragraph. Sexually unfulfilling marriages

1:36.7

aren't limited to new parents or aging baby boomers with hormone imbalances. They can ensnare

1:42.8

even the relatively young and the relatively

...

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