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The Bert Show

Vault: This Voicemail Is Every Friend Group's Worst Nightmare

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Comedy, Entertainment News, Society & Culture, News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 6 July 2026

⏱️ 8 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: She left a criticizing message about her friend's boyfriend

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Get it.

0:00.9

The Birch Show.

0:01.9

Jeff and Jessica are in the middle of sort of a situation that has to end sometime over the next 24 hours. It's not me. I didn't do anything. This is just you sitting back and join the ride. For once, there is a big screw up in the Dollar Castle in Sandy Springs, and I didn't do it. Okay. 100% Jessica. Jessica, what did you do? Well, first of all, I think I'm in danger of losing my best friend.

0:23.9

Oh, no. Why? Yes. And you know what? It's because I talk too much and I leave too much information on voicemail and I'm not even going to do that anymore. Oh, no. What happened? Well, I have a, like, one of my best friends, she doesn't live here.

0:41.5

We don't talk on the phone that much.

0:43.5

I mean, we exchange voicemails a lot because we play phone K.

0:47.5

So we leave a lot of information on voicemail, Facebook, whatever.

0:52.3

It's almost annoying the way Jessica leaves this girl voicemail messages because it's like, hey, this is going to, hey, blah, blah, blah. Jeff and I are on our way to the airport because we're going to Panama. I don't know my God. I don't even know if I told you that we were going to Panama. We're going to Panama. And it's so weird because Jeff's coworker, Janet is going to be in Central American. His co-worker Bert is going in Central America.

1:11.3

And you know,

1:11.7

Bert's a surfer

1:12.4

and Jen's going to

1:13.4

surf camp, so that's

1:14.3

really cool.

1:14.9

But they're not going to

1:15.4

be together, obviously.

1:16.5

They're going separately.

1:17.5

Anyways, we've got that going on. And Sasha learned a new trick. and we'll leave like a four minute

1:22.4

message with an update of everything

1:24.6

of the past two weeks.

1:26.1

Okay.

1:26.4

All sorts of random information.

1:27.8

I make fun of her for it.

...

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